NQaP Season II: Still Not Going as Planned
by cerokun
Summary: The adventure continues! Ichigo and company have successfully rescued Rukia from Soul Society. All they want now is to relax. Yeah, like that's going to happen. As always, no plan survives first contact. Sequel to "Not Quite as Planned". Read that first or you'll be completely lost.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I am not a wealthy professional mangaka. I am an amateur writer who has decided to smash Kubo's masterpiece with a baseball bat and rebuild it in my own twisted image with a glue stick and staples, for no reason other than my own amusement.**

**Good evening, ladies and germs! I, the mighty Cerokun, have arrived, bearing the sequel to "Not Quite as Planned"! **

**So, sit back, relax, maybe get some tea. Enjoy all that. **

**Then strap yourself in and prepare to have your mind blown. We're starting this story off with Ichigo vs. Kenpachi!**

**T-minus ten seconds to epicness…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2½…2¼…2…1…**

* * *

The desert of Hueco Mundo. A silent world, usually broken only by the roars of the Hollows that populate it.

Hollows cocked their heads in confusion at the sound of thunder. They had reason to be confused. Hueco Mundo's skies were always clear. There were no thunderstorms in the barren world of Hollows. And yet, thunder was echoing across the desert.

In another world, someone might have gotten curious and gone to investigate. But in Hueco Mundo, odd occurrences were things to be avoided. The Hollows hunkered down and waited for the storm to pass.

Curiosity got the cat eaten after all.

-x-

Ichigo's blade slammed into Kenpachi's, driving the giant Shinigami back. Kenpachi was quick to start pushing back and the two Zanpakuto sparked as their wielders struggled for dominance.

Ichigo gave ground first, unable to get decent footing on the desert sands. Kenpachi's grin widened and he took the opening, breaking the blade lock and swiping at Ichigo's neck.

_Oh Crap!_

Ichigo let himself fall back, Kenpachi's battered blade sailing through empty air inches above his head.

Now it was Ichigo's turn to take advantage of his opponent's opening. The Arrancar kicked, burying his foot in Kenpachi's stomach and sending the Captain skidding back.

Kenpachi rubbed at the slight footprint Ichigo had left in his torso. Then he shrugged it off and stood tall once again, his grin still in place.

A grin that was wiped off his face by a Cero to the kisser.

Ichigo pumped his fist as Kenpachi was sent tumbling ass over teakettle into one of the crystal trees that dotted the landscape.

"Oh that was beautiful! The timing could not have been better!" Ichigo laughed.

Sand exploded and Kenpachi hauled himself to his feet. Ichigo grinned. "First blood goes to me, Kenpachi."

Kenpachi smiled with bloodied lips. "That it does." He pointed his blade at Ichigo. "I plan to draw the last though!"

Kenpachi charged again, whaling on Ichigo's defenses in a never-ending stream of slashes. Ichigo blocked every one.

Then Kenpachi's free hand caught his sleeve.

"Oh shit."

Kenpachi reeled him in, driving his knee into Ichigo's stomach. "Oof!" The Captain shifted his grip, grabbing the collar of Ichigo's shihakusho. He drew back and slammed his forehead into the Arrancar's nose. "Gah!" Kenpachi pulled back for another headbutt, but Ichigo recovered and met him with a headbutt of his own. Kenpachi and Ichigo staggered back from each other, rubbing their abused skulls.

Ichigo reached up and winced as he felt his flattened nose. "Nod bad…" he admitted. Gritting his teeth, Ichigo cracked his nose back into place. He smirked as it healed and the pain receded. "But not good enough."

Kenpachi threw his head back and laughed. "This is great! I haven't had so much fun in years! Come on! Let's make this last a good, long while!"

The battle continued.

-x-

Ikkaku stumbled as Ichigo and Kenpachi's battle shook the ground. "Holy crap! This is nuts! I've never seen anyone able to keep up with the Captain like this!"

"Stupid Baldy."

Ikkaku glared up at the little girl sitting on his head. "Don't call me that."

"But it's true," Yachiru giggled. "Kenny's having fun. He doesn't want it to end."

Yumichika nodded. "This is still just the warm-up. The real fight will start soon."

-x-

Ulquiorra sidestepped a stray Cero that obliterated part of the sand dune he was standing on.

"_They are strong. I can't say for sure until I see their full strength, but I would place them around Grimmjow's level."_

Ulquiorra nodded. _Ichigo Kurosaki. As Lord Aizen said, he is capable of being an Espada._

Arrancar and Zanpakuto continued to watch the battle, waiting to see what the two below could truly do.

-x-

"Whoops!"

Ichigo slipped to the side to avoid Kenpachi's thrust and retaliated with a thrust of his own. Kenpachi tilted his head and let the sword pass by. He grabbed Ichigo's outstretched arm and tried to pull him in for another headbutt.

Ichigo had no intention of becoming reacquainted with Kenpachi's skull though.

Ichigo's uppercut slammed Kenpachi's teeth together and he was pretty sure he felt the giant's jaw crack under the force.

The blow staggered Kenpachi and his grip on Ichigo's wrist loosened. The Arrancar yanked his arm free and struck at Kenpachi's face.

The Captain dodged on reflex, swaying backward to avoid getting his face cut in two. Ichigo cursed as his Zanpakuto merely grazed Kenpachi's face.

Amid a spray of blood, a black eye-patch dropped to the sands of Hueco Mundo.

-x-

The Shinigami watching the fight in the 12th Division's monitor room winced in sympathy. Whether the opponent was an Arrancar or not, watching Kenpachi tear into someone full force was never pretty.

"This is going to be painful…" Kyoraku muttered, pulling his hat over his eyes.

-x-

Ichigo grunted as Kenpachi's monstrous reiatsu slammed down on him. In a flash, the Captain was in his face, Zanpakuto swinging.

_Shit, this is gonna hurt._

Kenpachi swing struck Ichigo's defense…and scattered it to the winds. To say the blow knocked his Zanpakuto aside would be an understatement. Zangetsu was thrown out of the way with such force that Ichigo was dragged several feet sideways.

Then Kenpachi's follow-up hit.

The Arrancar was thrown across the desert like a ragdoll. He hit and bounced several times, tumbling head over heels. By the time he stopped, the sand had stripped quite a bit of skin off his face and arms. He also had sand in some very uncomfortable places.

"Ow…" Ichigo pushed himself up and spat out a mouthful of sand. He blinked at the huge amount of blood soaking the sand beneath him. The Arrancar rolled onto his back and saw the massive gash in his torso. "Huh." Then the pain hit. "Fuck!" He pressed a hand against the wound. "Shit, that hurts!"

The sand behind him shuddered and Ichigo looked up into Kenpachi's disappointed face.

The Captain shouldered his battered blade and shook his head. "Now why'd you have to do that, Ichigo? I was having plenty of fun the way things were." His grin quickly returned though. "But I suppose that was enough fooling around. C'mon. Let's see that Resureccion of yours."

Ichigo laughed, causing him to spasm and cough up blood. "Shit. Ow." He smirked. "So you think it's time to get serious, huh?"

He lifted his bloodstained hand from his chest…revealing the blue Cero he had been charging.

"I couldn't agree more!"

-x-

Ulquiorra actually lifted a hand to shield his eyes when the Gran Rey Cero went off.

Murcielago laughed._ "That's going to leave a mark…"_

-x-

"What the hell was that?" Akon yelled, staring at the readings the drone was sending back. "It's reading like a Cero, but I've never even heard of one that powerful!"

Komamura stared at the screen, which was obscured by dust thrown up by the explosion. "Do you think that finished him?"

Soifon snorted. "Kenpachi? Please. It will take far more than that to do that man in."

The monitor suddenly started beeping and Hiyosu checked the data from the camera drone. "The Arrancar's reiatsu is rising rapidly. I believe it's about to utilize its Resureccion."

-x-

Kenpachi hauled himself back to his feet. His body was an oozing mess of burns and blood. Still, his grin was the widest it had been through the whole fight. Pain? He was Kenpachi Fucking Zaraki. Pain was just an indication of how much fun he was having.

"This is it…" he chuckled. "This is IT!" The chuckle rose into full blown maniacal laughter. "This is what I've been waiting for all these years!" He snatched up his nameless Zanpakuto from where it had fallen. "Come on, Ichigo! Let's keep going! Show me what you can really do!"

-x-

Ichigo grinned as Kenpachi's yell echoed around him.

"Happy to oblige." He lifted Zangetsu.

"**Split the Sky! Zangetsu!"**

-x-

Murcielago was laughing again. _"Yes! Can you feel it, Ulquiorra? It's still sleeping, but it's there!"_

Ulquiorra didn't answer his Zanpakuto, continuing to watch silently.

Most wouldn't see it. In fact, almost no one would be able to recognize it. But Murcielago knew his wielder better than Ulquiorra knew himself, and he did see it.

The glimmer of eagerness in the Arrancar's emerald eyes.

-x-

"What the hell?"

Soifon looked at Akon as he stared at the readings. "What?"

Akon glanced at her then turned his attention back to his terminal. "This doesn't make any sense. The Arrancar's reiatsu levels are about fifteen percent higher than what our sensors registered at the end of his fight with Captain Kurotsuchi."

"And? He finished that battle by eating Kurotsuchi. Of course he's going to be stronger," Hitsugaya pointed out.

"Captain Kurotsuchi had more than fifteen percent of that Arrancar's power. Realistically, we should be seeing a jump closer to eighty or ninety percent," Hiyosu chimed in.

Hinamori voiced the question everyone was thinking. "So…where did the rest of the power go?"

-x-

Ichigo cracked his neck. "Ah, no more pain…"

The sand cratered as Ichigo Sonidoed. His white and black cleaver arced through the air, slicing deep into Kenpachi's side. Kenpachi swung his blade to retaliate, but Ichigo was coming from the other side now, slashing at the giant's back.

Kenpachi flared his reiatsu and swung, sending a sickly yellow surge of raw power at the Arrancar. Ichigo vanished again, the attack doing nothing but carving a new canyon in the desert.

A shadow alerted him, and Kenpachi got his Zanpakuto up in time to block Ichigo's downward swing. The two strained against each other, grinning madly.

Ichigo's tail whipped around, snagging Kenpachi's sword arm and yanking it down. Ichigo continued his swing, carving a bloody gash across Kenpachi's torso. His tail flexed, hauling Kenpachi into the air and slamming him down on the ground. The Arrancar drew back and kicked the Captain in the face, launching him across the desert again.

Kenpachi righted himself and hit the ground with all the force of a meteorite impact. Despite his rapidly accumulating injuries, he was still laughing.

"Damn, you're fast! I can't even see you move! This is great!"

"Glad you're enjoying it." Ichigo plowed into Kenpachi again.

But the Demon of Zaraki was ready for him this time. The instant Kenpachi felt Ichigo's blade bite, he twisted out of the way. Again and again, Kenpachi avoided killing blows by the skin of his teeth, taking minor wounds instead of the finishers Ichigo meant them to be.

Finally, he dodged an attack completely, sending Ichigo off balance. "Gotcha!" Kenpachi's sword lashed out, and Ichigo retreated.

The Arrancar clutched at the stump of his left arm. "This is nuts. I'm faster than you by far and you're still keeping up with me. Hell, you said it yourself. You can't even see me. You're dodging entirely on instinct." A new arm grew from the bloody stump. Ichigo flexed it and smirked. "Well, I've got my own counter for that. You ever played a videogame called Fate/Stay Night?"

Kenpachi leaned his sword against his shoulder. "Can't say I have."

"Shame." Ichigo grinned. "So this is going to go completely over your head." The inflection in his voice changed, clearly imitating someone.

"I am the bone of my sword."

Kenpachi jumped as the sand below him erupted in blades.

"That's not good enough!" Ichigo yelled. The blades shot into the air, spearing toward the airborne Captain.

Kenpachi grunted as the blades slammed into him. He dropped out of the sky, avoiding Ichigo's second volley…straight into a field of steel. "Son of a bitch!" More blades pierced him.

"Gotcha," Ichigo echoed.

Yellow reiatsu erupted, turning Ichigo's summoned blades to dust.

"Oh come on. Stupid, brittle, pieces of junk…" Ichigo grumbled. He really needed to do something about that. This was the second time he had fought someone that could break his blades with ease.

Kenpachi stood, covered in blood from his wounds. But his laughter was louder than ever. He reached up and yanked a sword shard out of his shoulder. His reiatsu rose, a towering pillar of yellow light.

Ichigo blinked. Was his reiatsu actually taking the form of a skull? What the hell?

"I think you hit something important," Kenpachi said through his laughter. "My legs don't feel too good. So get ready, Ichigo! This is my last shot!"

Ichigo shielded his eyes as Kenpachi's reiatsu rose even higher. "Holy crap!" The Arrancar lifted his cleaver and started ramping up his own reiatsu. "Alright, Kenpachi! One last clash! Let's see who's the strongest!"

In the skies above the desert, a yellow skull faced off with a blue Hollow mask.

-x-

"The drone can't take this! Back it up!" Akon ordered.

"This is insane!" Hiyosu yelled. "These two are monsters!"

The assembled Captains and Vice-Captains watched the screen, transfixed by what they were seeing.

-x-

Ulquiorra had to abandon his dune. The rising reiatsu had crushed the desert flat for miles around.

_Show me. Show me the extent of your power, Ichigo Kurosaki. Show me you are worthy of my attention. _

-x-

"Here we go, Ichigo!" Kenpachi roared.

Arrancar and Shinigami charged.

-x-

"Go, Kenny!" Yachiru cheered.

"You can do it, Captain!" Ikkaku and Yumichika yelled.

-x-

Ichigo and Kenpachi entered sword range.

Their blades swung, arcing toward their target.

Ichigo's grin went from 'excited' to 'shit-eating'.

"Getsuga…"

The look on Kenpachi's face told Ichigo that he had seen the blue glow in his eyes and realized exactly what was about to happen.

"Tensho!"

The desert exploded.

* * *

**:P**

**And we commemorate the first chapter of SNGaP with the return of an old friend. The Evil Cliffhanger! Mwahahahahaha!**

**What did you think? Epic enough? No, don't answer that. There is never enough epicness.**

**I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter of "Still Not Going as Planned".**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. But that's fine. As you've seen during NQaP, I'm not good at keeping deadlines. I wouldn't make it as a mangaka.**

**Reviews (the count returns!)**

**#10: Impstar**

**#20: ultimatemh**

**#30: Road and Tyki**

**#40: Anon42**

**#50: tytyty**

**#60: Transcendent Being Fan**

**O.o **

**Those first fifty reviews were submitted within the first twenty-four hours of Chapter 1 being posted. Holy crap. I love you all. **

**In response to the questions about Ulquiorra's final line last chapter, there will be NO yaoi. There will be HoYay/FoYay played for laughs, but Ichigo is straight, as is Ulquiorra (at least, he would be if he cared about relationships). **

**And before anyone asks, my stance hasn't changed. There are still no pairings planned in NQaP. Deal with it.**

* * *

"_You're pathetic, you know that?"_

_Huh…?_

"'_The Demon of Zaraki', the self-titled 'Strongest Shinigami', laid low. After spending the last century yelling myself hoarse, it's very satisfying to see you laid out like this. Serves you right for getting suckered into running right into his strongest attack."_

_Who…?_

"_Oh, now you hear me. I guess getting your bell rung by that Arrancar knocked something out of those damn ears."_

_Who the hell are you?_

"_Go screw yourself. If you had just paid attention to me, you'd be the one still standing. Like hell I'm talking to you now."_

-x-

"Kenny. Ken~ny. Kenny Kenny Kenny Kenny Kenny Kenny Kenny Kenny Kenny Kenny Kenny Kenny," Yachiru chanted as she poked Kenpachi in the head with her sheathed Zanpakuto.

"If he gets up after that, I'll eat my Zanpakuto," Ichigo commented, resting his cleaver against his shoulder. He reached down and grasped the blade that was embedded in his side. With a grunt, Ichigo yanked the battered Zanpakuto out and heaved a sigh of relief as the wound closed. _If he finished that swing, he would have cut me in half…_ Despite his regenerative powers, Ichigo was pretty sure he couldn't grow back half his vital organs. Heal them when they were still mostly intact? Yes. Completely replace them before he died? Doubtful.

"What the hell is this guy made of anyway?" Ichigo knelt next to Kenpachi's motionless body. Despite taking a Getsuga Tensho point blank, the Shinigami had not been cut in two like everyone else Ichigo had hit with the attack. The moon fang had carved another massive wound in Kenpachi's torso, and left severe burns on either side of the gash. Ichigo could see ribs displayed where his attack had blasted through Kenpachi's skin and muscle.

"Lift him up, will you?" Ichigo asked. The other two members of the 11th that had joined Yachiru as spectators looked at each other and shrugged. Together they managed to haul Kenpachi up off the desert sands.

Ichigo tugged at the black cloth that wrapped the hilt of his cleaver. The cloth extended as Ichigo pulled at it. Soon, Kenpachi's wound was tightly bandaged.

"He's definitely gonna need to go to the 4th, but that will keep him from bleeding to death."

"Why not eat him?"

Three pairs of eyes swung to the newcomer standing behind them. Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Yachiru crouched protectively between the black-haired Arrancar and their unconscious Captain.

Ichigo sighed and stood up, brushing sand off his hakama. He turned to face the shorter Arrancar. "Because I happen to like him." Ichigo grinned. "Besides, he'd probably taste terrible. It'd take hours of tenderizing to make him even remotely edible."

The other Arrancar continued to stare at him, not showing any reaction.

"Gran Rey Cero," he said suddenly.

"Huh?"

"The last attack you used before releasing your Zanpakuto." He turned and started walking away. "My name is Ulquiorra Cifer. You will be seeing me again, Ichigo Kurosaki."

"Um…okay? Thanks…?" Ichigo watched until Ulquiorra vanished in a buzz of static. _His clothes looked like the ones Triple A was wearing… So he's probably one of Aizen's. _Ichigo shrugged. Ulquiorra apparently hadn't been here to cause trouble and he'd told him the name of one of his most destructive abilities. _No sense starting something over nothing._

"Okay, let's get out of here before somebody who actually wants to kill us shows up."

-x-

_I'm going to need bigger pockets…_

Soifon tried to figure out how to carry all the money people kept passing her. Every hidden pocket in her shihakusho had been stuffed with as much as they could hold without compromising their location. She still had a large amount of bills and coins in her hands (plus a hastily scrawled I.O.U from an apologetic Vice-Captain Ise, whose Captain had spent all their cash on sake before arriving).

"Captain Unohana," Captain-Commander Yamamoto spoke up, bringing all activity to a halt. "Have a room prepared for Captain Zaraki." He started walking out of the monitor room. "Get him back in top form. We can't afford to have another Captain down at this time." Then he was gone, likely off to plan a suitable punishment for the Captain of the 11th.

"Yes sir." Soifon shivered when Unohana spoke. She was not happy at all.

_I pity you, Zaraki…_

-x-

Ichigo watched as the Senkaimon closed behind the four Shinigami.

"Did you have fun?" Urahara asked cheerfully.

Ichigo grinned. "Yep. Kenpachi brings the tally up to five." He paused and cupped his chin. "Or maybe seven? Should I count Ukitake and Aizen? Ukitake was sick and Orihime's the reason I was actually able to get Aizen. Not to mention he got back up later…"

Urahara unfolded his fan in front of his face. "Maybe count those as half a point each and bring the count to six?"

"I suppose that works…" Ichigo shook his head. "Anyway, I've got more important things to worry about right now."

"Oh? Like what?"

"How do we get the Hogyoku out of Rukia?"

"Oh…right. Knew I was forgetting something." Urahara scratched his cheek and chuckled sheepishly. "Bring her by later today. I'll take care of it."

"Thanks." Ichigo walked over to the ladder.

Then he turned around and stalked back toward Urahara.

"Nearly forgot something myself." Ichigo grinned evilly. He held up his hand and a blood-red orb started forming.

"Um…Ichigo…?"

"This isn't strong enough to kill you, so you should be good to take the Hogyoku out of Rukia." Urahara started to sweat. "But I just remembered I said I'd shove a Cero up your ass for putting it in her in the first place and all the problems it's caused." The glow from the Cero cast some rather ominous shadows on Ichigo's face. "Hold still and it will be over quick."

"Come on, Ichigo. Can't we talk about this?" Urahara backed away from the Arrancar. "Tessai? Yoruichi? Ururu? Anybody? Help?"

-x-

Yoruichi's ears twitched and she looked up from her catnap in a warm sunbeam.

_Something just happened to Kisuke._

She shrugged and lay back down.

_He probably deserved it._

-x-

Soifon dropped the bag of winnings on her desk. She had made that bet on a whim. She had most definitely not been expecting such a payoff.

And she was no longer obsessing over surpassing Lady Yoruichi. So she could finally relax a bit.

Maybe she could take a vacation…

Soifon shook her head. There was no way she would be able to get permission for a leave of absence in the current situation.

_Speaking of which…_

Soifon held out a hand and summoned a Hell Butterfly. Yamamoto had asked if there were any recommendations to fill the open Captain spots. Luckily, Soifon had an officer who she felt would make an excellent Captain.

The Hell Butterfly flapped its wings and darted off in search of Shusuke Amagai.

-x-

Ichigo hopped along the rooftops, keeping his eye out for Hollows. According to Tessai, Urahara would be out for a few hours, so he had some time to kill.

Ichigo came to a stop on the roof of a skyscraper._ Hmm. There's some weird reiatsu coming from downtown._ Ichigo scratched his head. _That doesn't feel like anything I've ever seen before…_

Ichigo jumped over a busy intersection, heading downtown, completely unaware of the pair of brown eyes staring up at him in shock.

-x-

"Tatsuki? Hello? Anybody home?"

Tatsuki blinked and turned her gaze from the sky to look at her best friend. "Um…I could have sworn I just saw Ichigo leaping tall buildings in a single bound while dressed like a samurai…"

Orihime stiffened. "Ah heh heh heh. Gosh, Tatsuki…you've got a really active imagination." She laughed nervously. "And I thought I had weird daydreams."

Tatsuki's eyes narrowed. "Hime, are you trying to hide something from me?"

"No! Of course not." Orihime squeaked.

"Does this have to do with that weird monster that attacked us at the school?"

Orihime slumped. "Oh…so you remember that."

"Of course I remember it! Why wouldn't I?"

Orihime opened her mouth to answer, but was interrupted by a brown and purple blur running into her and knocking Orihime into Tatsuki.

"Orihime! Are you okay?" Tatsuki glared after the purple-haired girl that had kept running without even an apology. "Hey! Watch where you're going!"

Orihime regained her feet. "She's going in the same direction as Ichigo…"

"Huh?"

"Sorry, Tatsuki!" Orihime dashed off, following the girl.

"Wha-? Hey, Orihime!" Tatsuki took off after her. "Wait for me!"

-x-

"Oi, Shinigami! C'mon, we're going out."

Rukia stared at the blonde girl. "Going out?" The Vizard went out? Rukia had been under the impression they just hung out underground all day.

"Are you hard of hearing? Come on. We're going shopping."

Rukia just sat there and blinked.

Hiyori apparently finally got tired of just standing there and grabbed the sleeve of Rukia's shihakusho and dragged her off.

"Wha-? Hey! Cut it out! I can walk!"

Hiyori hauled her over to the gigai Urahara had sent over yesterday and dropped her into it.

"You've got enough of your power restored that your shihakusho has come back. I'm sick of looking at it, so we're going to get you some regular clothes."

Mashiro poked her head in the room. "Are you two coming? Lisa and I are waiting."

Reluctantly, Rukia followed the three female Vizard out of the warehouse and toward the shopping district. "How the heck am I going to wear these clothes? It's not like they'll stay on me when I leave my gigai…"

"A little invention of Urahara's. Sort of similar to the reishi converter that Urahara used to make the Senkaimon accessible to Ishida, Sado, and Inoue," Lisa answered.

When they reached the shopping district, all four girls stopped dead.

The district was full of odd looking, white spirits with pink, pin-shaped heads.

"What the hell is this?" Hiyori asked.

* * *

**Here we go. We're jumping straight into the first movie, Memories of Nobody. Let the fun begin!**

**Yeah, the short chapters are back. They'll get longer. At some point.**

**Show of hands, who remembered Ichigo's promised punishment for Urahara? **

**I wonder what Soifon will do with all her money. Any ideas?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I've said this…*counting on fingers*…twenty-six times? No, wait. This chapter makes twenty-seven. Have I said it enough yet?**

**Reviews**

**#70: The Sinful**

**#80: X59**

**#90: pnginlvrs**

**#100: Harlequin**

**Holy crap. Already broken one hundred reviews… It's only been a week… That right there shows the difference in how many readers I'm getting compared to this point in NQaP. Once again, I love you all. **

**Please note: It is not necessary to watch "Bleach: Memories of Nobody" to follow along with the coming chapters. It is recommended though. I know I'm re-watching it to refresh my memory (Laugh Track). It can be found on YouTube right now, but who knows how long that will last.**

* * *

"Well, this is odd…" Ichigo crouched atop a streetlight, looking down at the white spirits milling about the shopping district. _Never seen anything like these guys before…_

"Hey! Strawberry!" Ichigo looked down to see Hiyori, Lisa, Mashiro, and Rukia standing under his perch. "What the hell's going on?"

"What makes you think I'd know?" Ichigo deadpanned. "Until a few months ago, I didn't even know about Hollows and Shinigami. You tell me what they are, Miss Centuries-Old-Shinigami."

Hiyori kicked the pole, causing it to tremble and nearly shake Ichigo off. "I've never seen these things either, Strawberry!"

"Sheesh…" Ichigo rolled his eyes and reached into his kimono. He pulled out the phone Urahara had given him before the invasion of Soul Society. He flicked through his contacts and hit 'Call'.

"_ring…ring…ring…click…Urahara Shoten. How may I help you?"_

"Hey, Tessai. Is Hat-and-Clogs conscious yet? We've got a bit of a mystery downtown."

"_I'm afraid not, Mr. Kurosaki. You did do quite a number on him, after all. Perhaps you could describe the situation to me?"_

Ichigo glanced at his phone then put it back to his ear. "I'll do you one better. Got an address I can send a picture to?"

"_Of course."_ He gave Ichigo the number.

Ichigo snapped a couple pics of the strange spirits and emailed them to Tessai.

"_Hmmm. They look familiar, but I can't quite recall where I've seen them. I'm not sure what they are."_

"Seems to be the theme of the day…"

"_I apologize. I'll show the manager when he awakens. I suggest trying a Konso for now. If that doesn't work, try to contain them until we can find out more about them."_

"Thanks. Sorry to bother you." Ichigo ended the call. "Tessai says try to Konso them. If that doesn't work, we may want to give Hachi a call, so we keep them in one place," he said to the girls below him.

"Can you even perform Konso anymore?" Rukia asked.

Ichigo shrugged. "I was little busy training to take on an army. It never came up." He scratched at his mask fragment. "We probably shouldn't test it on something we've never seen before…"

"I agree," Lisa said, her Zanpakuto appearing from thin air. She drew the blade and tapped the hilt against the head of one of the white and pink spirits.

Absolutely nothing happened.

"Epic fail," Hiyori snickered.

"Guess we should call Hachi." Lisa sheathed her sword and turned back toward the group.

Behind her, the spirits' heads turned red and they all focused the Vizard, Shinigami, and Arrancar.

"Uh…Lisa?" Mashiro pointed over the black-haired Vizard's shoulder.

Lisa turned around just in time to become the bottom of a dog pile.

"Nevermind…"

"Panty-Flash Tornado!" The pile of spirits was sent flying in all directions. Lisa flipped to her feet as more of the spirits closed in.

"Any ideas?" Hiyori asked as the girls backed into a circle. They had no clue what these things were. They couldn't just go hacking away willy-nilly. Punches and kicks kept the spirits at bay, but more kept coming.

A group leaped into the air at Ichigo. The Arrancar snorted and jumped off the streetlight, smirking as the spirits crashed into each other and fell to the ground, apparently out cold.

Ichigo blinked as a sudden wind whipped up, carrying red and brown leaves with it.

"What the hell's with these leaves?" Hiyori yelled, slugging a spirit that had grabbed one of her pigtails. "It's frickin' summer!"

A gap in the horde provided the answer.

"A Shinigami?" Rukia gaped at the purple-haired girl gracefully slicing through spirit after spirit. "Stop! You can't just kill them! They're not Hollows!"

"Damn!" Ichigo Sonidoed, reappearing in the path of the Shinigami's next swing. Steel rang when it made contact with his iron-skinned palm.

The girl's eyes widened in shock as his hand closed around her Zanpakuto. "What the hell are you doing?"

"That's my line!" Ichigo yanked the Zanpakuto out the Shinigami's hands.

"Hey! Give that back, jerk!" She hopped up and down, trying to reach her sword, but Ichigo held it over his head, out of her reach.

"Was I not clear to the old man? Shinigami are supposed to stay out of Karakura!"

"Strawberry! Can you worry about that later?"

More of the odd spirits were appearing. Without using their Zanpakuto, sheer weight of numbers was starting to tell against Rukia and the three Vizard.

"Crap!" Ichigo grabbed the unknown Shinigami by the large bow around her waist and tucked her under his arm, ignoring her protests. "You're coming with me." He charged into the group of spirits, bowling them over. "'Scuse me! Pardon me! Gangway!" He skidded to a stop beside Rukia. "We might want to call Hachi now."

"No need, Ichigo. I'm already here."

"Clear out, everyone!" Shinji's voice warned.

"You heard him!" Hiyori punched a spirit out of the way and leaped into the air. Lisa and Mashiro were right behind her. Ichigo grabbed Rukia and followed, the purple-haired Shinigami still struggling in his other arm.

As soon as they were clear, a yellow-orange barrier flared to life around the spirits.

Ichigo dropped down beside the former Captain of the 5th. "I bet you think you look so cool, showing up out of nowhere like that."

Shinji grinned. Then he took a closer look at the spirits inside the barrier. "Oh? These look like Blanks."

"What the hell's a 'Blank'?" Ichigo asked.

"Those are Blanks," Shinji said, as if speaking to a small child, pointing to the trapped spirits. "Ow!" He cradled his skull, rubbing at the goose-egg Hiyori's sandal had left.

"Stupid Shinji! Quite acting all mysterious and tell us what they are!"

"Put me down, jerk!"

All discussion ceased as a small fist thudded into Ichigo's crotch. Ichigo blinked a few times before looking down. He smirked at the surprised Shinigami. "Didn't feel a thing."

Mentally, the Arrancar heaved a sigh of relief. _Hierro, you are my new favorite power._

"What the heck are you?" the girl asked.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, Karakura's resident Arrancar, duh." Ichigo rolled his eyes. "You been living under a rock or something for the past week? Broke into Seireitei? Spent two days raising hell and kicking the crap out of everyone I came across? Frickin' _Hollow_ invasion? Any of this ringing a bell?"

"Not a bit."

The group of Vizard exchanged looks and all shrugged their shoulders in confusion.

Questioning would have continued if Hachi's barrier hadn't started to crack.

Everyone familiar with the strength of Hachi's barriers stared in shock as the cracks expanded. With a sound like a thousand windows shattering at once, the barrier exploded and the Blanks poured out.

In the middle of the multitude, a white-haired man in armor stood. He smiled at the group, then he and the Blanks vanished into thin air.

"Well…that was odd," the purple-haired Shinigami said.

Ichigo snorted. "Please. You're in Karakura. Stuff like this is par for the course."

-x-

Orihime and Tatsuki arrived in the shopping district to find nothing out of the ordinary.

"Orihime, what's going on?" Tatsuki asked her friend, who was looking back and forth. She seemed to be trying to make a decision.

"I promise I'll explain soon, Tatsuki." Decision apparently made, Orihime took off again, heading for the stores.

"What the - ?" Tatsuki ran after her. "Orihime! Wait up!"

-x-

"You wanted to see me, Captain Soifon?" A young-looking, somewhat unkempt man stepped over the threshold of Soifon's office.

Soifon looked up from her paperwork and nodded. "Come in, Amagai. Please give me a moment."

Shusuke Amagai sat in front of his Captain's desk as she finished her paperwork. She placed the last form in her 'Out' box and turned her attention to Amagai.

"How did your patrol go?"

"Very well, Captain. I should have the report on your desk by this evening."

Soifon waved her hand dismissively. "It can wait. I imagine you'll have a lot to think over tonight."

Shusuke blinked. Captain Soifon, normally the picture of efficiency, telling him to take his time? What the heck was going on?

"I assume you read the reports of what happened while your team was out on patrol?"

"Yes ma'am. It was rather difficult to believe until I saw current state of the Seireitei."

Soifon nodded. "Short-term, there is little we can do, except start rebuilding. It will take a long time to get our numbers back up. However," she met Amagai's eyes, "the most important thing right now is to fill the empty Captain spots. Two Captains turned traitor, one is dead, and another alleged traitor unaccounted for. We cannot afford to have our strength so drastically reduced in the current situation."

"Captain?" Shusuke was starting to see where this was going.

"You are an excellent leader and without a doubt are the strongest man in this Division. I've respected your decision to stay a Patrol Leader, despite how much I wanted you as my Vice-Captain. You are loyal to your men. That is an excellent quality to have." She leaned over her desk, her gaze boring into Amagai. "But now Soul Society is facing a crisis. For the good of all the worlds, I'm asking you fill one of the four spots." She leaned back in her seat. "Take the night off. Think it over. If you accept, I'll recommend you to Captain-General Yamamoto."

Amagai sat silently for a few moments. Then he bowed low, his forehead touching the ground. "I don't feel I am worthy of such an important position, ma'am. But I will consider it."

Soifon nodded. "I will support your decision, whatever it may be."

Amagai stood up, bowed again, and left.

As the office door slid shut behind him, Amagai allowed a malevolent smile to cross his face for a brief moment before he schooled his features.

This was _exactly_ what he had been waiting for.

-x-

"Whoa! This place is cool!" the unnamed Shinigami cried, seeming quite cheerful, despite being bound in a Bakudo #4: Hainawa.

After the encounter with the Blanks, Ichigo, Shinji, and Hachi had returned to the Vizards' warehouse with the Shinigami girl. Rukia and the Vizard girls had stayed in the shopping district. Obviously being attacked by spirits that had become lost in the Dangai (according to Shinji's extremely brief explanation) was not enough to counter the female obsession with shopping.

"Hey! Can you let me go? I've got an itch."

"If you'd quit trying to run off, we wouldn't have tied you up," Shinji answered.

"I don't see what the problem is. I'm a Shinigami. I was just doing my job," she huffed.

Ichigo groaned. "The problem is that this is Karakura Town. I told Soul Society just a few days ago that we don't want or need Shinigami here."

"As if the Soul Society would listen to a weirdo like you." She gasped. "Oh! I bet you guys are part of some prostitution ring!"

Ichigo, Shinji, and Hachi all sweatdropped at the sudden change in subject and evasion of their questions. Then what she actually said registered and they stared in shock at her misconception.

"That's it isn't it? You've kidnapped me and you're going to have your perverted way with my beautiful body and then sell me to the highest bidder when you get bored!"

"Say what?" Shinji leaned down in front of her and smiled. "Does this look like the face of a guy that would do something like that?"

"Yes," the girl and Ichigo said at the same time.

Shinji slumped in a corner, a dark cloud of despair hovering over him.

Kensei walked down the stairs, looked at Ichigo and Hachi standing over a bound female Shinigami (who's shihakusho had become rather disheveled from her earlier manhandling by Ichigo), saw Shinji sulking in the corner, and shook his head. "I don't even want to know." He turned around and walked back upstairs.

* * *

**I'm sorry. I had to stop there. I don't think I'd be able to top Senna's accusations this chapter. That scene popped into my head and was too random and hilarious to not include.**

**Next chapter we'll see more plot advancement, some more characters will get introduced, and maybe a small skirmish or two. There will also be an explanation of the Blanks to bring Ichigo and those readers who have not seen the movie up to speed. Look forward to it!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Maybe someday, when I am a super successful author on par with J.K. Rowling, I'll have the money to purchase the rights. When that happens, I will immediately see about getting NQaP animated. I really want to see some of those scenes on a TV screen.**

**Reviews**

**#110: talesfanjmf**

**#120: EaSnowPw**

**#130: anonymous naruhinafan**

**Guess what? The Infamous Man took up the Fate/Stay Night fic I put on my profile. Then he made it his own by doing Fate/Zero instead. After seeing the Servants, I'm excited. Get over to his profile and check out "Fate: Zero Sense".**

**Wait. Read my story first. Then go check it out. Sorry, Infamous Man. I have my priorities.**

* * *

The massive Arrancar left Las Noches. Finally, Lord Aizen had given permission for him to take his revenge.

_Ichigo Kurosaki, your time has come!_

-x-

"Um…I think I might have enough for now…" Rukia's voice drifted from behind a pile of clothing taller than she was.

"Nonsense!" Mashiro chastised her. "A girl can never have enough clothes." She tossed a few more dresses on top of the pile. "Hurry and get to the dressing room! You need to try these on!"

"The pile's too heavy. I can't lift it…"

"Oh for crying out loud…" Hiyori stalked over and heaved the clothes off the petite Shinigami with ease. "There. Can we get on with this? I want to get done so Stupid Shinji can tell us what the hell was up with those things earlier."

"Right! C'mon, Rukia!" Mashiro dragged Rukia into the dressing room, followed by Hiyori.

Lisa continued browsing the racks. It was annoying how quickly human fashions changed. It seemed like only a short time ago, yukata were still daily wear. It was one of the reasons she liked her sailor suit: not much had changed since people first started wearing them.

Still, there were a few outfits she might like to try…

Lisa looked up as a familiar reiatsu entered the store. She looked over the tops of the racks and spotted a head of burnt orange hair. "Inoue!" She waved the girl over.

Lisa watched the black-haired girl that followed Inoue over. _A friend?_

"Hello, Ms. Yadomaru. How are you doing today?" Inoue asked.

"Pretty well," Lisa responded. "I assume you're here about what happened earlier today?"

Inoue nodded.

Lisa glanced at the other girl and cocked an eyebrow at Inoue.

"Ah…Tatsuki saw Ichigo earlier…when he jumped over us on his way here…"

"Oh."

"'Oh'? What's that supposed to mean?" the black-haired girl – 'Tatsuki' Inoue had called her – asked. "Orihime, I've been patient. What the hell is going on? Who is this?"

Lisa shook her head. "Let me guess. She was affected by Kurosaki's reiatsu like you and Sado, right?" Inoue nodded. Lisa pulled her glasses off and pinched the bridge of her nose. "We need to slap a limiter on that kid or something. If he had effects like this as a Substitute Shinigami, I'd really rather not see the results of normal humans being exposed to an Arrancar's reiatsu."

Inoue's friend looked ready to blow a gasket. "Will _someone_ please explain things to me?"

Inoue turned her pleading gaze to Lisa, who rolled her eyes. "Alright, calm down. We'll get done with our errands, then go back to the warehouse and you'll have all your questions answered. Is that okay with you?"

Tatsuki crossed her arms. "Why can't you tell me now?"

Lisa waved a hand at the crowded store. "Would you like everyone here to hear that you're seeing things no one else can?" she asked quietly. Tatsuki shook her head. "I rest my case." Lisa glanced at the entrance to the dressing rooms. "They'll probably be in there for a while. I'm going to the bookstore. You're welcome to come along."

-x-

"Hiya, Momo!"

Momo Hinamori screamed in surprise, spun around and tripped over her own feet, sending the papers she was carrying flying. Through the fluttering paperwork, she saw Matsumoto smiling down at her. The Vice-Captain of the 10th bent down and started picking up the papers.

"Sorry about that. Man, you're really out of it if you didn't notice me until just now."

"I'm fine."

Matsumoto stared at her. Momo fidgeted a bit. "Momo, the Captain's worried about you. Apart from showing up to watch Captain Zaraki get his clock cleaned by that Arrancar, no one's seen you in the past few days. You ditched us the second you heard about Captain Aizen."

"I had to get back to the 5th Division. We were hit hard by the invasion."

Rangiku winced. "Sorry…I should have done better there."

"That's right, you should have," Hinamori said with a surprising amount of venom. Then her eyes widened when she saw Matsumoto flinch. "Oh no! I'm sorry! I just…" She started to tear up. "It's this whole situation…First I think Captain Aizen has been killed, then it turns out he faked it and has been playing all of us for fools…" She clutched the recovered paperwork to her chest and sniffed. "I admired him so much, Rangiku."

Matsumoto put her hand on the smaller woman's shoulder. "Hey, we all did. He was the kind of Captain everyone couldn't help but look up to. And Gin…" Rangiku scowled.

Suddenly she stood up. "C'mon. Let's go drinking."

Momo blinked at the sudden shift in attitude. "Huh?"

Matsumoto grabbed Momo by the arm and pulled her to her feet, scattering the papers again. "We're going to go get drunk and bitch about what colossal dicks the men in our lives are."

"But, Rangiku - ! Wait a minute!" Momo cried as she was hauled away to the nearest bar. "Rangiku, I still have work to do!"

-x-

Kenpachi stirred. His body felt like lead. In fact, he couldn't remember a time that he had so much trouble moving. Even his eyelids felt ridiculously heavy. With a mighty effort, he managed to force his eyes open.

He was greeted by the ceiling of the 4th Division.

"Oh hell."

"Oh, so you're awake," a pleasant voice said. Unohana leaned over him, a beautiful smile on her face. "Out for six hours. Quite a long time for you, Captain Zaraki." Kenpachi stilled as Unohana's smile went from 'frigid' to 'Your-Worst-Nightmare-Given-Form'. "I've placed a few binding spells on you. Your injuries are severe and I wouldn't want you moving around and reopening your wounds before you're completely healed."

"Oh shit."

She was pissed.

-x-

Ikkaku and Yumichika reclined under a tree, unaware of the peril their Captain was in. Kenpachi's fight with Ichigo Kurosaki was enough excitement for the day and they were ready to relax for a while.

So of course, the universe decided to screw with them.

The two Shinigami stared in shock as the sky split open, revealing an upside down view of a city full of skyscrapers.

The Living World had appeared over Soul Society.

Alarms quickly began to sound.

-x-

Tatsuki stopped dead when she got her first look at the Vizards' underground training room. She blinked a few times, then said the first thing that came to mind.

"This has got to be violating some building codes…"

Orihime smiled. "It's cool, isn't it?"

"Yeah yeah, shock, amazement, blah blah blah. Can we get on with this?" Hiyori grumbled as she walked down the stairs.

As Tatsuki descended the stairs, she started to notice an oppressive feeling in the air. By the time she was halfway down, it was getting difficult to breathe. Struggling to draw a breath, Tatsuki stumbled, and only Lisa's quick reflexes kept her from tumbling all the way to the bottom.

"Kurosaki, will you rein in that reiatsu of yours before you kill your friend?"

"Huh? Oh shit! Tatsuki!"

The suffocating pressure lessened and Tatsuki gasped, filling her lungs with sweet, beautiful air. "Wha…what was that?"

Orihime helped her to her feet. "Sorry. We've been around Ichigo so much that I don't even feel the pressure anymore. I forgot to warn you."

Tatsuki coughed. "That…was Ichigo?"

"His reiatsu, yes," Lisa said. "Aside from seeing spirits, you don't seem to have much power yet, so you didn't have any resistance to it."

"That felt like that masked thing that attacked us. Why does Ichigo feel like that?" Tatsuki asked. Tatsuki looked up when she caught a glimpse of orange hair running towards her. She took in the mask fragment and yellow-on-black eyes, so much like the monster that nearly killed her. "Oh," she said.

"Sorry, Tatsuki. Are you okay?" Ichigo asked. "Shinigami girl has been driving us up a wall and Shinji's being a moron again. You walked in right when I decided to shut them up." He looked at Orihime. "What's Tatsuki doing here?"

"I'm here because I saw you jumping across rooftops like something out of an anime! What the hell happened to you?"

"Bit of a long story, Tatsuki…"

"And I don't have the patience for you to explain it to her right now!" Hiyori yelled from the training room floor. "I want to know what those 'Blanks' were and why they attacked us!" She reached down and yanked Shinji out of boulder Ichigo had smashed him into. "Start talking, Stupid Shinji." Then she pointed at the still tied up Shinigami, who was looking a little dazed after getting a concentrated blast of Ichigo's reiatsu. "And I want to know what she's doing here!" She started tapping her foot. "Someone start talking."

-x-

Shinji stood in front of a projector screen, one hand holding an icepack against his head and the other holding a collapsible pointer. "Okay, 'Blanks 101." The projector clicked and the first slide went up, showing the Living World and Soul Society, with the Dangai between them.

"Most of you," he glanced at Tatsuki, "know how the cycle works. Human dies, receives Konso from a Shinigami, moves on to Soul Society, stays there for a while, reincarnation happens, rinse and repeat, right?" He tapped his pointer against the area on the screen labeled 'Dangai'. "But in order to get to Soul Society, one has to pass through the Dangai. Occasionally, souls get lost on the way through. No one's quite sure how that happens, since Konso provides a Hell Butterfly to guide them, but it does."

The projector clicked again, showing the same view, but this time with dots representing lost souls.

"Souls that get lost wander aimlessly for a while. Eventually," the projector clicked, showing the dots starting to congregate, "the lost souls are drawn together." Another click, and now a new realm was shown between Soul Society and the Living World. "This gathering multitude causes another dimension to appear. The Valley of Screams."

"Cheery name," Ichigo quipped.

Shinji smiled. "Isn't it? Anyway, inside the Valley, the lost souls are separated in memory and energy. The memories fuse together into something called 'the Shinenju (Memory Rosary)'. The energy that is left behind becomes the Blanks we saw today."

"Okay…so why did they attack us?" Rukia asked.

The projector clicked, showing a circle labeled 'Shinenju' surrounded by numerous Blanks.

"Blanks are naturally attracted to their memories. Normally, they search for them rather listlessly, pretty much just wandering around, hoping to run into it. However, in the presence of the Shinenju, the avatar of their memories, they become more active." Shinji tapped his chin with the pointer. "I can't recall an instance of them actually attacking anyone though…odd."

"So what do we do about them?"

Shinji shrugged. "The Valley of Screams is a naturally occurring phenomenon. I saw it happen a couple times while I was a Captain. Normally, the Blanks show up, wander around for a bit, find the Shinenju, and return to the cycle. While them attacking you all is odd, there's no reason to assume the same thing won't happen this time."

"What does the Shinenju look like?" Lisa asked.

Again, Shinji shrugged. "It varies. Usually, it takes the form of someone from the memories that comprise it."

"So maybe that white-haired guy we saw was the Shinenju?"

"Possibly."

"While this is all very interesting, can you let me go now?" the Shinigami girl asked. "I do have a job to do you know."

"You're staying here until we can get a hold of Soul Society and find out why you're here in Karakura."

"Oh come on! I'm sorry about killing those Blanks, really I am. And I'm sorry about the whole 'prostitution' thing, but you can't just keep me tied up down here! Couldn't you let me out on bail or something? This is my first trip to the Living World! There's so much cool stuff to see!"

Ichigo rubbed at his face. "You're not going to shut up until we let you out are you?"

"Nope," she said with a smile.

"Ugh. Fine." Ichigo stood up and broke the Bakudo on the girl.

"Thanks! See you later!" She turned to leave, but was stopped when Ichigo grabbed the collar of her shihakusho. "What?"

"You don't get free rein to run all over town." Ichigo looked at Shinji and the others. "I'll stick with her until we can get in contact with Soul Society."

"Meany…"

"We could keep you here if you'd prefer, Shinigami," Hiyori grumbled.

"…I have a name you know…" she pouted.

"No, we didn't know. You refused to tell us," Ichigo said as he led the way out of the Vizards' training room.

"It's Senna."

"Nice to meet you, Senna. Now come on. If I'm going to be following you around while you explore, I need to get my body…" the voices faded away as the pair left.

"Well, that's taken care of," Shinji said. "Lisa, you mind getting Urahara to call up Soul Society so we can get rid of her?"

"No problem."

"Great. Now then," he directed his attention to Tatsuki while another slide popped up on the screen, "'Shinigami, Hollows, and Everything in Between 101'."

-x-

Yoruichi cracked an eye open when she heard something ringing. She realized a moment later that it was her phone. Briefly, she considered ignoring it and going back to sleep, but decided that that if someone was trying to reach her by phone, it was probably something important.

The black cat stretched then transformed back into her human form. Yoruichi picked up her phone and looked at the screen. A smile spread across her face as she answered it.

"Hiya, Soifon! What's up? You couldn't go a full day without hearing my beautiful voice?"

"_I apologize, Lady Yoruichi, but there's a bit of a situation in Soul Society."_

"Didn't you already have a 'situation'?"

"_This has nothing to do with Aizen. The Living World has appeared in the sky."_

Yoruichi blinked. "Say what?"

"_The 12__th__ has determined it to be caused by the return of the Valley of Screams. But something like this has never happened. The Valley has grown to the point that it has connected the Soul Society and the Living World. The Captain-General has asked that you attempt to locate the Shinenju, so we can try to halt the dimension's expansion before it jeopardizes the stability of the worlds."_

Yoruichi groaned. "I was looking forward to relaxing after the FUBAR my little trip to Soul Society turned into…" Yoruichi shifted through her closet, looking for something clean to wear. Then she got an idea. "Hey, why don't you come help me look?"

"_Huh?"_

"Two heads are better than one after all. And two sets of eyes looking are better than one. And then you can hang out after all is said and done."

"_But…_

"C'mon, the 2nd Division can do without you for a few days, right? I bet you haven't taken a break in the last hundred years. You need to unwind. We'll find the Shinenju, solve the problem, then we can visit a hot spring resort or something."

"…_You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?"_

"Nope."

"_I thought as much."_ Soifon sighed. _"Very well, I will ask the Captain-General for permission to assist in your search. You are certain this won't be an issue with Kurosaki?"_

"Ichigo will get over it."

-x-

_Are all Shinigami women going to be this much of a pain in my ass?_

Ichigo resisted the urge to beat his head against a wall. That little bitch had ditched him! All it took was him taking his eyes off her for a moment, and she up and vanished. And that was after she spent the evening running all over town, conning him into paying for things like food and a new hair ribbon.

Then she started acting odd. She'd see something and just stare at it blankly for a minute. Considering how (hyper)active she was, just standing there seemed completely out of character for her.

Then she snuck off while his back was turned!

_Okay, Senna. Hide-and-seek time is over._

Ichigo concentrated and spirit ribbons materialized around him. He easily snagged Senna's. Then his eyes narrowed when he saw the half dozen other red ribbons leading in the same direction.

_And who the hell are you?_

-x-

Senna wandered the graveyard. The flashes she had been getting had led her here. She stopped in front of a particular grave.

_This is my family's._

She knelt before the gravestones. However, any hope of paying her respects was dashed when she was forced to dodge a sneak attack from a dark-skinned man.

Senna cart-wheeled away, shedding her Gigai the instant she stopped. "Who are you?" she demanded, hand on her Zanpakuto.

"There's no need for you to know that," he sneered, lifting his crescent-shaped weapons. "Just give up and come with us."

"'Us'?" Senna turned when she heard laughter. She saw a group of people sitting on gravestones some distance from her.

"Hurry up, Jai. Lord Ganryu won't like it if you take too long," a blue-haired man with an odd face-guard said.

"Gotcha, Riyan."

Jai surged toward her, punching at her with his blades. Senna blocked his attacks with her Zanpakuto, but Jai was too strong. He disarmed her and grabbed her by the neck. Senna tugged at his hand, trying to free herself, but his grip didn't budge.

"That was easy. Let's go," Jai said.

"Excuse me." Senna's eyes widened at the voice coming from behind Jai. A pale hand clamped down on Jai's arm and started to squeeze.

Jai screamed as the bones in his arm crunched, causing Senna to drop from his now limp hand.

Jai turned to glare at his assailant and froze when he met Ichigo's yellow eyes.

"As much of pain she is, I can't let you take Senna anywhere." Ichigo grinned, then Spartan-kicked Jai down the row of graves. Jai's comrades jumped away when the big man smashed into the grave they were sitting on.

Free of Jai, Senna wasted no time in grabbing her Zanpakuto. She snatched it up and turned to see the other four Shinigami coming for her, weapons drawn.

But Ichigo was there again. Senna watched in awe as the Arrancar stopped a sword with his bare hand like he had done to her earlier that day. Another kick sent the sword's wielder into Riyan and they both went down. Then a massive club slammed into Ichigo and an explosion engulfed him. Ichigo emerged from the blast scuffed up but uninjured and he engaged the club-wielder.

Meanwhile, the lone woman had darted around the fighting. She pulled out a pair of sickle-like weapons connected by a chain and threw one at Senna. Senna deflected it with her Zanpakuto, but the woman whipped it around for another attack. Senna leaped and back-flipped over the sickle, snagging the chain and pulling as she landed. The woman gasped in surprise as she was dragged toward Senna, who kicked her in the face, sending her sprawling.

"You little bitch! You're lucky Lord Ganryu wants you in one piece."

"And you're not, because I don't need you in one piece," Senna taunted. The wind started to pick up around her, autumn leaves surrounding her. Her Zanpakuto started to glow as she spun it.

"Bring them to the twilight! Mirokumaru!"

A cyclone formed around her as Senna's Shikai was released. Senna twirled the monk's staff, the cyclone following the motion and striking at her opponent. The woman screamed as she was picked up and thrown around by the powerful winds.

Another explosion drew her attention. She turned to see Ichigo holding one of his opponent's clubs. Apparently he had just walloped the huge man with it.

But Jai, Riyan, and the guy with the sword were back up again, triple-teaming Ichigo.

They tried to anyway.

Another cyclone directed by Senna crashed into them and tossed them away again.

Senna stepped up next to Ichigo. The Arrancar folded his arms and smirked at their downed foes.

"Anybody else want some? Or do you want to tell me who you are and what you want?"

Whatever they might have been about to say was interrupted by the sound of the air tearing apart.

All the combatants stared as the monstrous figure stepped through the Garganta.

A pair of eyes glared out of the open mouth of a Hollow mask. They scanned the fighters and focused on Ichigo.

"Ichigo Kurosaki. Time to die!"

Senna watched as Ichigo's eyes widened in shock.

"You're…Grand Fisher!" he growled.

* * *

**That scene with Matsumoto and Hinamori was a pain. Emotional scenes are hard to get right. **

**On the other hand, I loved writing the graveyard fight. Senna didn't get to kick enough ass in the movie. She showed up, smashed a bunch of Blanks, then spent the rest of the movie as a Faux Action Girl (maybe even The Chick). Not happening here.**

**And the poor Dark Ones get to be the first unlucky idiots to find out just how tough an Espada-class Arrancar is. I wonder what they'll do now? Also, who laughed when Ichigo and company thought Ganryu might be the Shinenju?**

**Now review! And then go read Fate: Zero Sense!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Considering the mess I made of Seireitei, I'm sure the Shinigami in canon are very grateful for that.**

**Reviews**

**#140: blackgetsuga**

**#150: Akatsuki Leader 13**

**#160: Chash123**

**#170: animecollector**

**#180: EVA-Saiyajin (you were also #500 in NQaP, so if you have a question, feel free to ask it)**

**Ladies and gentlemen, before we begin, I would like to address an incredibly common error on this site that I have become aware of. Even very good authors with a good grasp of the English language seem to be making this mistake. It's the difference between "cannon" and "canon". **

"**Canon", when referring to a work of fiction, is the conceptual material accepted as "official" by the fiction's fan base or declared so by Word of God.**

**A "cannon" is a ballistic weapon that fires large, heavy balls of metal. **

**Now, I love cannons as much as the next guy, but please don't mix them up. Are we clear? Okay, on with the show!**

* * *

The instant she felt that terrifyingly familiar reiatsu, Rukia dropped everything and dashed out of the warehouse, ignoring the Vizards' exclamations and questions about where she was going. She shed her Gigai and took to the rooftops, Shunpoing toward an all-too-familiar cemetery.

_Grand Fisher…_

She shivered as she recalled the last time Ichigo had tangled with the deadly Hollow. The encounter had nearly ended in death for both combatants.

But it wasn't Ichigo's death she feared this time. After all, he was far stronger than he was all those months ago. But if Ichigo lost his head in rage like he did last time, with his instincts as an Arrancar…

_Please, Ichigo! For your mother's sake, keep it together!_

-x-

"I see you've gone through some changes, Kurosaki," Grand Fisher chuckled. He glanced at the purple-haired Shinigami standing beside his hated foe. "Your taste in company hasn't changed though. Another weakling Shinigami bitch." He stepped forward. "Oh well. She'll make a decent meal after I pay you back for my humiliation."

Kurosaki stood still, head down. His mask fragment and bangs hid his eyes in shadow.

"What's wrong, brat? Afraid of my new power? How wise of you." Grand Fisher drew his gigantic Zanpakuto as he stepped forward. "While your death is inevitable, you should at least see it coming. You are an Arrancar like myself now. You might as well die with some dignity."

Kurosaki didn't move.

Grand Fisher shrugged. "Fine. Have it your way." He swung with all his might, intending to start and end the encounter with one attack.

"Ichigo, move!" the Shinigami cried, jumping out of the way herself.

Grand Fisher's Zanpakuto came down like a guillotine, dead on target. The impact shattered the ground and threw up a massive amount of dust.

"Hmph. How pathetic. Killed in one move," Grand Fisher snorted. He turned his attention to the woman, who raised her staff in a futile attempt to defend herself. The Arrancar licked his lips at the thought of the coming meal. Women and Shinigami were delicious enough on their own; together was sure to be ambrosia. He lifted his Zanpakuto from the space Kurosaki had occupied.

_Huh?_

His Zanpakuto wasn't budging. Had it gotten stuck in the ground? He pulled harder. Still no movement.

Grand Fisher looked back to the dissipating cloud obscuring his weapon. His eyes widened when he caught a glimpse of orange hair and a red and white mask fragment.

_Impossible._

Kurosaki's hand was clamped on the edge of Grand Fisher's Zanpakuto, the sharp blade failing to penetrate his Hierro.

His face still in shadow, Kurosaki smirked. "Is that it? That's the best you have? Rukia's hit me harder than that."

Grand Fisher put all his weight into yanking on his Zanpakuto. Kurosaki's iron grip never wavered.

"You had me worried when you showed up. But it looks like you're all size and no substance." Kurosaki looked up, his yellow eyes gleaming menacingly. His smirk grew into a sadistic smile. "Sucks to be you."

The resistance on his sword vanished and a blow like a cannon shot blew Grand Fisher off his feet.

-x-

As the white Shinigami look-alike started beating the huge Hollow like a drum, Riyan struggled back to his feet. He looked at his battered companions. Jai had a broken arm and probably some cracked ribs too. Mue's ribs were likely similarly damaged. Bau had been knocked upside the head with his own weapon. Benin had a lovely bruise already forming on her face. And all of them were battered and bruised from getting tossed around by their target's Zanpakuto.

"What do we do, Riyan?" Benin asked, nursing her abused jaw. "Should we grab her while her bodyguard is distracted?"

Riyan considered it then winced as the large Hollow howled in pain. He shook his head. "We're withdrawing for now. With the ease he's handling that thing, that Shinigami look-alike will be on us the instant we try to subdue her." Keeping one eye on the battle, he heaved the unconscious Bau onto his shoulders. "I don't want to try taking that thing on outside the Valley without a good amount of preparation and a lot more Blanks. We'll report back to Lord Ganryu and let him decide our next course of action.

The group of banished Shinigami limped away as stealthily as possible.

-x-

"What's the matter, Fisher?" Ichigo crowed, delivering a haymaker to the Grand Fisher's face. "Where's that lure of yours?"

A rising kick to the chin.

"Where are your claws?"

A one-two punch to the body.

"Come on! Bind me with your fur!"

A double fisted hammer blow to the top of his head.

"Pierce me with your claws! Look into my heart!"

A low-powered Cero threw him across the cemetery, reducing a number of graves to rubble.

"Show me the face of the one I can't cut, you son of a bitch!" Ichigo roared. He leaped and came down on the prone Arrancar's body. His raised his leg and brought it down in an ax kick that smashed Grand Fisher down into a half-meter-deep crater. He felt a burst of satisfaction when his mother's killer coughed up blood.

Ichigo walked up Grand Fisher's body, making sure to dig his feet in with every step. Once in reach, he grabbed the lower half of Fisher's mask and yanked him up, forcing him to meet his eyes.

"Does it hurt?" Ichigo asked, still smiling. Grand Fisher groaned. "Good. I've got six years of aggression to work out here." He drew his fist back for another blow. "I want to make this _last_."

-x-

Rukia propped herself against a tree as she fought to catch her breath and clutched at a stitch in her side. She was out of Karakura proper and had covered a fair distance between the city and the cemetery.

_Still not at full strength…Damn it, this is not the time for this!_

She caught her breath and started moving again, jogging as quickly as she could toward the graveyard Ichigo was battling Grand Fisher.

Her run was interrupted by a black, cursing meteor crashing to the ground in front of her, missing her by inches.

"Goddammit! I'm so out of shape!" the meteor yelled, popping out of his impact crater.

Rukia blinked. She recognized the voice of that "meteor". "Mr. Kurosaki?" she asked, staring at the black shihakusho and what seemed to a Captain's haori wrapped over his left shoulder.

Ichigo's father looked up at her and blinked. "Do I know you?"

Rukia opened her mouth, but another burst of Ichigo's reiatsu interrupted her. Deciding explanations could wait, Rukia grabbed the collar of Isshin's shihakusho and started dragging him toward the cemetery.

"Ow! Hey! Take it easy, girl!" he yelled as he was dragged over roots and rocks.

"Then stand up and walk! We don't have any time to be wasting!"

-x-

_This is…brutal…_

Senna cowered behind a tree as Ichigo's decimation of Grand Fisher continued. Half the graveyard had been trashed by the battle.

The Shinigami winced as a sickening crack and anguished scream echoed through the night air.

She had never thought that she would feel sorry for a Hollow.

Grand Fisher screamed again, accompanied by Ichigo's manic laughter. Senna clapped her hands over her ears.

This wasn't a battle. This was torture.

And there was nothing she could do to stop it. Ichigo obviously had a personal vendetta against this Hollow. There was no telling what would happen to her if she tried to interfere.

All she could do was hunker down and pray that it ended soon.

Footsteps caught her attention, and she looked up to see two more Shinigami enter the cemetery.

-x-

"Puh…puh…ple…ase…muh…mer…cy" Grand Fisher spluttered through bloody lips and broken teeth.

"I wonder how many of your victims said that same thing," Ichigo mused, flicking his wrist to rid his Zanpakuto of blood.

Grand Fisher lay on his side, his right arm and leg resting a dozen feet away. His body was covered in purple and black bruises. His remaining limbs were broken in multiple places.

And it wasn't enough.

Ichigo flipped his Zanpakuto over and stabbed down into Grand Fisher's leg. The scream was music to his ears. He twisted the blade. He wanted this bastard to _suffer_.

Ichigo yanked the sword out and stared at the broken form of his mother's killer.

_Maybe…_

"I've got an idea…" Ichigo purred. "I'm going to let you experience exactly what your past victims did." He palmed the upper half of Grand Fisher's mask and pressed his head against the ground. Fisher groaned as Ichigo started to increase the pressure. "I'm getting hungry anyway…" The orange-haired Arrancar licked his lips. Grand Fisher yelled in pain as the force on his head grew.

"Ichigo, stop!"

Ichigo turned his yellow-on-black glare to the new arrivals. "The hell are you doing here, Rukia?" He blinked at the tall, bearded figure standing behind her. The surprising sight of his father in the garb of a Shinigami caused some of the bloodlust to recede from Ichigo's mind and he let up on the pressure slightly.

Rukia stalked over to him, drew back her arm, and slapped him across the face with all her strength.

The unfazed Arrancar stared as she collapsed on the ground, clutching her abused hand.

"You okay?"

"F-fine… But you - !" She glared up at Ichigo. "Have you completely lost your mind? You were going to eat him!"

Ichigo's eyes narrowed. "Seems like fitting revenge to me," he growled.

"**And what would happen to your mother's soul**?" Rukia yelled.

Ichigo started as Rukia's words penetrated through his bloodthirsty instincts to reach the rational mind beneath.

"Her - ? I…" His eyes wide in shock, his gaze shifted back to the beaten monster beneath him. "Oh god…" Ichigo stumbled back, trying to put as much distance between himself and Grand Fisher. His back hit a gravestone, halting his retreat. When the full ramifications of what he had nearly done hit him, he rolled to the side and threw up. "Mom… Shit…What kind of monster am I turning into!"

"Doctor Kurosaki Style: Anti-Angst Blow!"

Unlike Rukia's effort, Ichigo felt this one full force. Dumbfounded, he pressed a hand against his throbbing cheek, while Isshin shook his hand out.

"Get your head out of your ass, boy! You think something like this makes you a monster?" Isshin crossed his arms over his chest. "If I had been here first, I likely would not have remained rational either! So what if you are an Arrancar? You are also human, and above all, you are a son who loved his mother!" He knelt before his son and placed a hand on his shoulder. "No one can blame you for reacting like you did when faced with her killer."

Ichigo hung his head. "I just…" His eyes prickled and he furiously scrubbed his face with the back of his arm. "I miss her so much, Dad…"

Isshin dropped down next to him and slung an arm over Ichigo's shoulder, pulling him into a one-armed-manly-hug. "I know. So do I."

The Kurosaki men sat in silence, their hearts full of wishes for what might have been.

-x-

Rukia sighed as she looked at her friend and his father. She felt a slight twinge in her chest. She chalked it up to the touching father-son scene in front of her.

Then the twinge became a sharp pain. Rukia gasped and her hand flew up to grasp the shihakusho over her heart.

Behind her, she heard Grand Fisher gasp and choke.

Then the pain returned even worse than before, driving her to her knees. A scream passed her lips.

Her suffering drew Ichigo and Isshin's attention, and the two were quickly at her side.

As suddenly as it started, the pain receded. Rukia took a few shuddering breaths, but the pain did not return.

"I'm okay…I'm okay…" the Shinigami insisted as Ichigo hovered over her while Isshin ran her through a quick physical.

Isshin cupped his chin. "I can't find anything overtly wrong…Still, I'm giving you a room at the clinic tonight, just in case. Help her up, Ichigo." He turned around and drew the Zanpakuto hanging at his side. "I'm just going to finish this…" He trailed off when he saw the spot Grand Fisher had occupied was vacant. "Bullshit."

Senna poked her head out from behind her tree. "Is it safe to come out yet?"

-x-

Grand Fisher sighed in relief as he finally hauled himself out of the Garganta and into the desert just outside Las Noches. Dragging himself through the space between worlds with his broken arm had been excruciating, but you do what you have to in order to survive.

And what the hell had that been? He'd been halfway into the Garganta when he felt more pain than he'd ever felt before, even including the beating Kurosaki had just handed him. For the first time since he became a Hollow, he'd felt like throwing up.

"This isn't the end, Kurosaki. I'll get healed up. I'll gain even more power. And I'll come kill you, you little shit!"

"I'm afraid that won't be happening, Grand Fisher."

Grand Fisher turned around, saw a flash of steel, felt something pulling at him, then everything went dark.

-x-

Aizen sheathed his sword, the remains of Grand Fisher vanishing into the depths of the Hogyoku.

"What a waste…"

This was becoming very inconvenient. He had hoped to get some kind of information out of Fisher about the current situation in Karakura. But no, the Hogyoku had woken up and he had lashed out at the first thing he could to appease it.

Aizen glared down at the orb in his chest.

_This situation cannot continue. As things stand, I'm at the mercy of the Hogyoku. I need to assert control._

He also needed to send someone reliable to do some recon in Karakura.

_Preferably someone who won't spontaneously decide turn the place into a smoking crater…_

* * *

**Was anyone else really disappointed with Grand Fisher's defeat in canon? While Isshin showing up and killing him in one shot was awesome, I thought it deprived Ichigo of some much-needed closure. Plus there's no indication Isshin ever told Ichigo about killing him, so as far as Ichigo knows, his mother's killer is still at large, luring more spiritually sensitive people to their deaths. Not to mention Ichigo's the type of person to blame himself for those further theoretical deaths because he failed to kill Grand Fisher when he had the chance. Yeah, Kubo kinda dropped the ball there in my opinion…**

**What did you think of the fight (slaughter)? I actually felt a little sorry for Grand Fisher while I was writing it. Meh, I'll get over it. **

**Once again, Ichigo's instincts get the better of him. Good thing Rukia and Isshin showed up, huh? **

**I thought of two ways I could end this chapter. I went with the one that I felt was best for the plot (which, unfortunately, was the worst for Ichigo). Rant and rave at me all you want (I certainly didn't enjoy writing it). Just please trust that I have good reasons for what happened.**

**Now then, something a little less full of gloom and doom! Namely, everyone's favorite psychopathic badass, Kenpachi Zaraki! I've got the main points of Kenpachi's relationship with his Zanpakuto planned out, but I'm having trouble deciding when you, the readers, will get your first look at it. So, I've decided to let you all decide! The poll's on my profile. Go and vote!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Bleach… I can't think of anything funny to say. Good thing I'm writing fanfiction and not doing stand-up comedy, right?**

**Reviews**

**#190: Light's Fiery Dragon**

**#200: Guest (Sadly, I can't give you a question because you don't have an account and I have no way to PM you)**

**#210: Ethorin**

**#220: book reader-lover of 3000**

**So, due to overwhelming majority, Kenpachi's Zanpakuto spirit will make its grand appearance during the Zanpakuto Rebellion Arc. Granted, I'll be dropping hints between now and then. So challenge yourself! Try to solve the mystery of Kenpachi's Zanpakuto spirit before it appears! I'll tell you all now that like Murcielago, it's a character from another TV show/anime/cartoon.**

**A couple people have PMed me about Ichigo's inner world. Aside from not being sideways and the giant hole in the center, it's identical to Canon Ichigo's.**

**Sorry this is a short chapter. Writer's block has returned, so I'm posting what I've got and starting fresh. That tends to work for me.**

* * *

"GOOOOOOOD MOOORRNIIIIIIIING, ICHIGOOOOOOO!"

"SHUT UP!"

In her bed in the Kurosaki Clinic, Senna snapped awake and jumped to her feet as the building shook. She tried to anyway. Her legs got tangled in the blanket and she fell off the bed with a cry, landing in an indignant heap on the floor.

In the bed opposite her, Rukia crawled out from under her covers and got to her feet far more gracefully than Senna did. She smiled as she cracked her back.

"Ah, the Kurosaki morning wake up call. Can't believe I missed that…"

"This happens every morning?" Senna asked as she struggled with her blanket.

-x-

Goat-chin attacking Ichigo while he slept? Normal.

Ichigo retaliating with equal or greater force? Normal.

Yuzu cooking breakfast? Also normal.

Two pretty girls who looked to be the same age as Ichigo sitting at the breakfast table at Goat-chin's insistence, after apparently spending the night in the clinic? Not normal.

"This is so good!" the purple-haired girl, Senna as she introduced herself, said, wolfing down her breakfast. "Can I have some more?"

"Of course," Yuzu said with a smile, "Have as much as you like."

Of course, Yuzu was just happy to have guests and didn't think anything was odd at all…

"Hey! Senna, that's mine!" Ichigo yelled when the girl snagged a plateful of eggs from in front of him and downed them in seconds. A chopstick duel erupted between the two over the remaining plates of food. The other girl took the opportunity to steal the sausage from his plate. "Dammit, Rukia!"

Karin stared, her chopsticks frozen halfway to her mouth. Her Sixth Sense was telling her that the menacing presence occupying her brother's body was still in residence. Her eyes and ears presented her with a comedy routine straight out of a slapstick anime. The conflicting signals effectively paralyzed her, leaving her able to do nothing but watch.

"So… Would either of you two lovely ladies be interested in dating my son?"

Karin's paralysis ended just in time to dodge the mouthfuls of food that were spat across the table.

"What the hell, old man?"

The Kurosaki patriarch gesture dramatically. "It's not like you're making any effort to find yourself a girl! Therefore, it falls on me, as your father, to find one for you! I want grandchildren!"

"I'm only fifteen, moron!"

Karin wondered what she had done in a past life to get such an embarrassing goof for a father.

-x-

Isshin grinned as Ichigo, Senna, and Rukia escaped. A quick glance assured him that Karin had lost her stiffness and had defaulted to ignoring his and Ichigo's antics, occasionally chiming in with deadpan side comments, just like she would have before her brother's transformation.

Phase one in his devious plan to bring his children back together was well underway.

He suppressed the urge to cackle maniacally. No wonder Aizen was evil. This was _fun_.

-x-

"Crazy old man…" Ichigo grumbled as the trio walked down the street.

"I liked him," Senna said. "I thought he was funny."

"He's completely out of his mind." Ichigo was also annoyed that he hadn't been able to interrogate his dad about him being a Shinigami. It just hadn't felt like the thing to do immediately after the old man snapped him out of his freak-out last night.

Ichigo clenched his fist. That was the second time he'd flipped out like that. He couldn't really say he was out of control. He'd been fully aware of what he was doing when he ate Kurotsuchi and during his fight with Grand Fisher. He needed to get a handle on this before someone really pissed him off and there was no one around to pull him back.

_Maybe Shinji or one of the others has an idea. Maybe something they do to control their Hollows could help…_

"Ichigo!"

"Huh? Ow!" Lost in thought, Ichigo hadn't noticed that they had arrived at Urahara's shop and just kept walking. Straight into a telephone pole.

-x-

"Thanks, Tessai," Ichigo said, pressing the ice pack against his forehead.

"You really should be more careful, Mr. Kurosaki," Urahara said, holding his fan in front of his face. The blond man very gingerly sat down across from Ichigo, Senna, and Rukia. "So, what can I do for you?"

"Couple things. First, ever hear about a bunch of Shinigami wearing armor and kinda greenish shihakusho?"

Urahara rubbed his chin. "Can't say I have. I assume you've encountered a group matching that description?"

"The freaks jumped me in the cemetery last night," Senna piped up. "We kicked their asses though," she said with a smirk.

"Any idea what they wanted?"

"Me. Duh."

"I meant the reason why they wanted you, miss."

Ichigo shrugged. "We didn't get to question them. They bailed when Grand Fisher showed up."

Urahara and Tessai both blinked. "That menace showed up? What did he want?"

"Me. Duh," Ichigo chuckled. "I kicked his ass. It was very therapeutic." Ichigo frowned. "At least, it was until I tried to eat him. Not one of my better moments…"

Urahara scratched at the back of his head. "I…really don't know what to say to that. You say 'tried'. You didn't follow through, I hope?"

Rukia shook her head. "Mr. Kurosaki and I arrived in time to stop him. Something happened afterward that prevented one of us from purifying Grand Fisher."

"Oh! So his powers finally came back, huh?"

"You knew Dad was a Shinigami?"

Urahara waved his fan dismissively. "We go way back. You said you missed out on purifying Fisher?"

Rukia nodded. "I felt like my chest was being ripped open. It was unlike anything I've ever felt before. But I wasn't injured or anything. The pain came out of nowhere."

"Something was happening with Grand Fisher as well," Ichigo added. "But the son of a bitch got away while we were checking on Rukia. We didn't get a chance to see if there was a link."

Urahara was silent for several long moments. Ichigo noticed that his free hand was drifting down to cradle his still tender rear. The shopkeeper gulped audibly and broke out in a cold sweat. He plastered on a shaky smile and lifted his fan in front of his face.

"Um…It…it might be a good idea to get to work on removing the Hogyoku…" Urahara chuckled nervously. "I'll just…go get everything ready. Be back in a few minutes!" Urahara jumped up and ran from the room an instant before Ichigo popped Kon's pill in his mouth and lunged out of his body.

-x-

Below the chaos unfolding in Urahara's shop, Yoruichi stood in the center of the training room in her true form. She smiled as a pair of traditional sliding doors appeared from thin air in front of her.

The doors opened, releasing large amounts of smoke. Yoruichi waved a hand in front of her face to clear the air.

"Are the Kido Corps still doing that? Them and their 'dramatic entrances'," the former Captain sighed.

"I tried ordering them to stop once. They changed the smoke to firecrackers until I relented," Soifon grumbled, stepping out of the Senkaimon. She looked around. "This looks like the hideout that was inside Sokyoku Hill."

"That was Kisuke's favorite place. I wasn't surprised when he built a new one here." Yoruichi threw her arm around Soifon's shoulders and led her toward the ladder. "So, shall we get this search started?"

"Ready when you are, Lady Yoruichi."

"Great! A simple tracking mission, then some R&R for you and me!"

-x-

In the sky above Karakura Town, the air cracked and split open, revealing a dark void.

Four pairs of black and white clad feet stepped out of the space between and into the Living World.

* * *

**You'd think Yoruichi would be old enough to know not to tempt fate like that… Who might these four visitors from Hueco Mundo be and what is their objective?**

**Seriously, what is up with all that smoke that comes out when a Senkaimon opens?**

**Sorry about the length. Next one should be longer.**

**While you wait, check out my "Plot Bunny Containment Unit".**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Apparently I don't even have to do this. There is nothing I could see in the Rules & Guidelines that says I have to post a disclaimer.**

**Reviews:**

**#230: book reader-lover of 3000**

**#240: anonymous naruhinafan**

**#250: Lucillia (you were just in time :D)**

**_Cerokun stands atop a mountain of dead plot bunnies, a Ninja Machete from ThinkGeek clasped in each hand._**

**Pray for mercy, you damn rodents! This time, I'm coming to you!**

**_Charges toward the rest of the horde, machetes raised high._**

**For Pooooonyyyyy!**

* * *

"So this is the Living World. Weird looking place."

"Oh? You've never been? You must have had such a deprived upbringing…"

"Why I oughta…!"

"You're acting like children again…"

"**What did you say**?"

"That's enough. Don't let yourselves get distracted from our mission."

-x-

"Alright, Miss Kuchiki. If you could hold still for a moment." Urahara held up a capped test tube.

Rukia stared at the tube warily. "So…how is this going to – ?" Urahara popped the top off the test tube and thrust his hand into Rukia's chest. " – work?" she squeaked, staring down at the arm embedded in her torso.

"What the hell, Urahara?" Ichigo yelled.

Urahara waved him off. "Not to worry. It's a special extraction Kido I developed. It's perfectly harmless. Now let's see here…" He shifted, groping around in Rukia for the Hogyoku.

"Ah! Th – that feels weird!" Rukia cried.

"I…I feel kinda dirty watching this…" Senna admitted.

Ichigo nodded in agreement, a trickle of blood coming from his nose as Urahara's efforts drew moans from Rukia.

"Q – quit staring, pervert!" a blushing Rukia yelled, snatching Urahara's fan and nailing Ichigo between the eyes with it.

"Well this is odd…" Urahara mused.

"Kyaa!" Rukia shrieked as Urahara reached deeper, his arm vanishing up to his shoulder.

"How can it all fit?" Senna wondered.

Ichigo lay face down in a puddle of blood, cursing the fact that he had gotten curious about the manga Kon had bought.

Urahara pulled his arm out of Rukia's chest. Rukia collapsed with a groan, staring vacantly at the ceiling.

Urahara scowled at his empty hand. "I need to get some more equipment. Wait here."

Senna stared at the panting girl on the floor as Urahara strode out of the room.

"So…was it good for you?"

Rukia weakly lifted a hand and flipped her off.

-x-

"Good morning!" Orihime called as she and Tatsuki stepped over the threshold of Urahara Shoten.

"Back here, Miss Inoue," the shopkeeper's voice responded.

Orihime led Tatsuki through the shop to the living area behind it. They arrived to the very interesting sight of Rukia lying under what looked like a steam punk X-ray machine.

Urahara sat next to the machine, alternately tapping away at a keyboard and frowning at a computer screen. "Have a seat, you two," he said without looking at the new arrivals, waving them over to where Ichigo and Senna were seated. A printer started spitting out sheet after sheet of paper.

"What's going on?" Orihime asked Ichigo as they sat down.

"Something went wrong with getting to damn Hogyoku out of Rukia of course."

"Nothing went wrong!" Urahara defended. "The procedure worked perfectly. The problem…" he said as he scanned the papers, "…is that there was no Hogyoku to remove." He blinked at his words and scanned the papers again, more closely. "Wait…that can't be right…"

"What do you mean the Hogyoku isn't there?" Rukia asked.

"Wait wait…" Urahara went back to his keyboard. Several more minutes of typing followed. The onlookers sat in silence as the former Captain muttered to himself.

"Ah ha! There you are!" Urahara cried in triumph.

"So the Hogyoku is there?" Ichigo grumbled.

"Technically."

"Technically?"

"Technically." Urahara snapped his fan open in front of his face. "Would you like the good news or the bad news first?" he asked cheerfully.

"The bad news," Rukia answered.

"I can't extract the Hogyoku," Urahara responded, smiling like a loon. "You're stuck with it."

Rukia groaned and thumped her head against the ground. "Why can't you remove it?"

"The seal I placed on the Hogyoku broke somehow. Possibly the time you spent in the Senzaikyu weakened it and being exposed to Mister Kurosaki's released state immediately afterward…but I digress. That's merely a preliminary hypothesis. I'll have to run some more tests find the exact cause…" He coughed into his fist. "Ahem. Anyway, the Hogyoku has bonded with you. Again, I'll need to do more tests to find the reason, but long story short, I could no more separate it from you than I could your Zanpakuto." The shopkeeper tapped his chin with his fan. "On second thought, I probably could pull that off… It'd probably be excruciatingly painful though…"

"Pass," Rukia deadpanned.

Urahara shrugged. "If you insist."

"So what's the good news?" Ichigo asked.

Urahara blinked. "There isn't any. That was the only news I had."

"So why did you ask if Rukia wanted the good or bad?" Tatsuki asked incredulously, wondering how the others put up with this weirdo.

Urahara snapped his fan back open. "Because I've always wanted to say that of course!"

-x-

Yoruichi and Soifon emerged from the basement cavern just in time to hear something be smashed against the floor.

"Do I want to know?" Soifon asked her former teacher.

Yoruichi shrugged. "Kisuke's probably pissed off Ichigo again. Nothing serious." She threw an arm over Soifon's shoulders. "C'mon, let's get to work. Sooner we finish, sooner we can hit that resort."

The Shinigami stepped out of the shop and stopped dead.

Yoruichi palmed her face when she felt the reiatsu in the air.

"Lady Yoruichi…"

"Yes. This is my fault. I know."

-x-

"So where is this guy? An Arrancar with bright orange hair… You'd think he'd be easy to find."

"What? Tired already, Apache? How pathetic," her dark-skinned companion taunted.

"Don't start, you three," the tall, blonde Arrancar said. All three female Fraccion turned to their mistress. "We have company."

"Aw, you noticed." Yoruichi appeared behind her. The former Captain grinned at the taller woman. "Sorry. I've been out of the assassination game for a while. I'm kind of rusty."

The Arrancar's eyes narrowed. "You are Yoruichi Shihoin, once the Captain of Soul Society's 2nd Division."

"Oh, you've heard of me?" Yoruichi's grin widened. "So I'm famous even in Hueco Mundo?"

"Lord Aizen described you as a lazy exhibitionist."

Yoruichi shrugged. "Well, I won't deny that." She tapped her chin. "Come to think of it, I still haven't transformed in front of Ichigo. I'll have to fix that." She stared at the Arrancar's clothes. "And you're really not someone to be calling me an exhibitionist…"

The Arrancar suddenly dodged to the left, narrowly avoiding getting a Zanpakuto through her neck.

A small slice appeared in the high collar of her outfit.

Soifon scowled as she appeared next to Yoruichi.

"Huh…If you could dodge Soifon, maybe I'm not as rusty as I thought…"

"You bitch! How dare you attack Lady Harribel!" the Amazon look-alike roared. She made to attack, but her mistress held up a hand and she stopped.

"Both of them are beyond you three." She turned her attention back to Yoruichi and Soifon. "I am Tia Harribel, Tres Espada. We are not here to fight you. Once our mission is accomplished, we will leave peacefully."

Soifon immediately latched onto the Arrancar's title. "Espada?"

"The ten strongest Arrancar in Lord Aizen's army!" Apache declared. " And Lady Harribel is the third! The both of you together couldn't hope to match her!"

_The third strongest Arrancar?_ Yoruichi grit her teeth. Harribel was suppressing the bulk of her reiatsu, but Yoruichi could tell she was powerful. _So that leaves us with two questions: How much is she hiding? And how big is the gap between her and the top two?_

One thing was clear. Directly over Karakura Town was not a good place to battle her.

"So what is your mission?" Yoruichi asked.

"Our mission is two-fold. To ascertain the current situation on the Jureichi. And to extend an offer to Ichigo Kurosaki."

"Well, you can finish that second one right now." A buzz of static and Karakura's resident Arrancar joined the gathering in the sky. Rukia and Senna blurred into sight behind him, hands on their Zanpakuto.

"Hey, Ichigo. All done with Kisuke?" Yoruichi asked.

"For now. I'm sure he'll give me another reason to kick his ass sometime in the future," he answered. Then he blinked and stared at Yoruichi. "Wait. Who are you?"

Yoruichi pouted. "Didn't Jushiro explain this to you? It's me, Yoruichi." She grinned as the Arrancar tried to reconcile the black cat in his memory with the beauty standing before him.

"Ichigo Kurosaki."

The orange-haired Arrancar turned to Harribel.

"Lord Aizen has sent us to offer you a place among the Espada."

* * *

**What? Sure Aizen loves his needlessly convoluted plans, but there's nothing wrong with just asking. And it makes his enemies paranoid because they start wondering what needlessly convoluted plan he's covering up by just asking. :D**

**Once I realized all the fun to be had from Urahara's hand being "inside" Rukia, this chapter flowed much easier. Though I feel kinda dirty for writing it…**

**And yes, Ichigo's transformation into an Arrancar messed with more than just his combat instincts (nudge nudge wink wink). He's just been in "smash, kill, destroy" situations so much that he hasn't realized what else is different. Going back to school is going to be fun. Mwahahahaha.**

**You know, until I looked up Yoruichi's height in comparison to Harribel's for this chapter, I never realized just how short she actually is. She's only 5'2", 2 inches shorter than the average Japanese woman. And Soifon's even shorter at 4'11" (I knew she was petite but my baby sister was taller than that when she was 11).**

**I also realized that in the absolute mess I made of the Invasion Arc, Yoruichi never actually flashed Ichigo (he never even saw her in human form). This travesty must be rectified!**

**As always, review! Give me feedback!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: How did this stupid thing get started anyway? Did some lawyers threaten to sue or something? It's not like anyone on this site is making any money off this…**

**Reviews**

**#260: PuppetMaster55**

**#270: 27kirune12**

**#280: Hebi R**

**#290: Hartanna**

**Pop quiz! What is today?**

**The answer? Today it is exactly one year since I posted the first chapter of "Not Quite as Planned". A whole year. Man, that's incredible.**

**To be honest, when I started, I didn't think it would last this long. I figured I'd post a bit, people would tell me how terrible it was, and I'd lose confidence and post something else or give up entirely.**

**Instead, people seemed to like what they read, as amateurish as it was. Every chapter had more hits and reviews than the last. And when popular authors like Vathara, Nameless Flame Wielder, and others added it to their Favorites, the number of readers exploded. I've had a lot of people tell me NQaP is their favorite Arrancar!Ichigo story. I've had more than a few tell me NQaP is their favorite Bleach fanfic period. And given the awesome Bleach fanfics that I know are on this site, that is some seriously mind-blowing praise.**

**At the time of this writing, the NQaP stories have gotten a total of 271,193 hits, 856 reviews, 1505 favs, and 1196 alerts. That's awesome.**

**I want to thank you all. Thank you to everyone who reviewed and offered constructive criticism and encouragement. Thank you to everyone who put NQaP on their Favorite and Alert Lists. Thank you to the people that recommended it on TvTropes and gave it a trope page (which causes me to giggle like a little kid whenever I look at it).**

**And a massive Thank you to the readers who have been here since Day 1. Without you, I never would have made it this far.**

* * *

Alarms blared in the RDI Monitor Room.

The door slammed open and Akon rushed in.

"Status report!"

"Four new signatures have appeared in Karakura Town! All are reading as Arrancar! They were intercepted by Captain Soifon and Yoruichi Shihoin. Ichigo Kurosaki, Rukia Kuchiki, and another Shinigami have also been detected in the area!"

"Reiatsu scan complete, sir!" another technician yelled. "Three of the Arrancar have a reiatsu density at Vice-Captain level! The fourth…" The tech's eyes widened in shock. "The fourth has a reiatsu density comparable to Ichigo Kurosaki! It's Captain-class!"

"Shit!" Akon's fingers flew across a keyboard, bringing up graphs and charts. "As if we don't have enough problems with the Valley of Screams…" This much high-density reiatsu in one area could have a profound effect on any human souls in the vicinity. If they actually started fighting… "Contact the Kido Corps! We need a barrier up ten minutes ago!"

-x-

Ichigo stared at the female Arrancar standing before him. His mind was working in overdrive, several trains of thought chugging away at the same time.

First, did she seriously just say that Aizen wanted him as a member of the Espada, supposedly the rogue Shinigami's strongest soldiers? Ichigo had thought that if Aizen sent anyone after him, it would be an attempt to kill him, not recruit him.

Second, was the offer serious or was it an attempt to drive him nuts trying figure out the motive behind it? According to the Vizard and from what he himself had seen, Aizen was a master of manipulation, so who knew what the actual purpose behind the offer was.

Third, what the hell was up with that outfit? It occurred to Ichigo that if she raised her arms over her head he might get a _really_ nice view. Kon was going to be seriously pissed that he missed this.

He rapidly dropped a mental penny on the tracks of that last train, which derailed and crashed spectacularly, allowing him to focus on the first two.

After a few moments, Ichigo determined that the only thing wondering about it would do is cause his brain to overheat.

"Why the hell does Aizen want me? I'm pretty sure I made a bad first impression." Ichigo grinned at the memory of Aizen taking his first Gran Rey Cero straight in the face.

"Because you are powerful," the woman stated matter-of-factly. "You have proven that you are a match for Soul Society's Captains, and as strong or stronger than several of the current and former Espada. Lord Aizen would much prefer to have you on his side of the battlefield than against him."

"Sounds logical," Ichigo admitted, though if that was Aizen's criteria for joining, he wondered why they weren't asking Orihime. She was the one who got closest to killing the guy. "But I'm going to have to decline."

"What?" the blue-haired Arrancar yelled, "Why the hell would you not take it? To be an Espada is the greatest honor Lord Aizen can bestow! To be included in their ranks is the dream of almost every Arrancar in Lord Aizen's army!"

"Apache. That's enough," her superior ordered. Apache immediately fell silent.

"Yeah, that's it right there: 'Lord Aizen's army'," Ichigo said. "The guy responsible for the misery of several people I consider friends plus a violent monkey I consider an acquaintance. He's also responsible for Rukia nearly being executed. The day I bow my head to that man is the day I'm looking down on his corpse."

"You dare - !" All three Fraccion started toward him, hands jumping to their sword handles. Only a raised hand from their mistress kept them from leaping at Ichigo. "Lady Harribel!"

"Don't be foolish. You three were there when Ulquiorra showed us Kurosaki's battle with Kenpachi Zaraki. Do you truly think you could even scratch him if he took you seriously? An attack would only lead to your deaths." Harribel turned her attention back to Ichigo. "You will not be swayed from this decision?" She gaze swept the four Shinigami that stood in the sky with them. "You would choose to side with the Soul Society over your own kind?"

Ichigo snorted. "I'm not on their side. I'm on Karakura Town's side."

"And yet you keep the company of Shinigami."

Ichigo shrugged. "Rukia's a fugitive, Yoruichi has technically been AWOL for about a hundred years, and Senna's a weirdo who seems to have crawled out from under a rock."

"Hey!"

"And Soifon…" Ichigo stopped and turned to the aforementioned Captain. "Come to think of it, why are you here? "

"Personal invitation from Lady Yoruichi. She asked for my assistance in searching for the Shinenju. I'm not technically acting in an official capacity for Soul Society at the moment."

"Oh." Ichigo shrugged again. It wasn't like he could tell Yoruichi what she could and could not do. "Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that we're not buddy-buddy with the Seireitei. In fact, I'll tell you the same thing I told them. Leave us alone, we'll leave you alone."

Of course, Aizen probably still wanted Urahara's Hogyoku, which was stuck in Rukia, so that probably wouldn't happen. But he had to offer at least.

Harribel stared at him for a long moment. Then she nodded and started walking away. "I will relay your answer to Lord Aizen. My Fraccion and I will likely remain in the Living World for a short while. It has been sometime since I visited. I'd like to see what has changed."

Ichigo tensed. "No eating Pluses. I'm not going to say you can't hang out here because you're Arrancar, because that would mean I have to leave too, but if you need to eat, chow down on some Hollows." His hand twitched toward his Zanpakuto, ready to force the issue if she refused.

Harribel nodded her assent. "Acceptable."

"Now hang on!" Soifon yelled. "You're just going to let them wander around? What about the first objective she mentioned?"

Harribel barely paused. "We were asked to ascertain the situation on the Jureichi. Lord Aizen wanted to know if Soul Society would be using it as a staging area." She looked back at Ichigo. "Given the terms set by Ichigo Kurosaki, I find it highly unlikely for that to happen. Objective achieved," she stated. "Apache, Mila Rose, Sun-Sun, we're leaving."

"Yes, ma'am!"

The four Arrancar vanished, static crackling in their wake.

Yoruichi scratched her chin. "Well…that was interesting."

Senna's eyes narrowed and she glared at Ichigo. "Hey, how come you're letting them go off on their own, but you won't let me go anywhere alone?"

"Because they didn't start causing trouble the second they showed up. And once we let the Vizard know, they'll probably put a watch on them."

Soifon pinched the bridge of her nose. "I need to call the Seireitei. They're probably freaking out."

Ichigo slapped a fist into his palm. "Oh yeah!" He snagged Senna by her sash and – ignoring her indignant squawk – deposited her in front of Soifon. "Why is she here?"

Soifon blinked at the Shinigami that she had seen earlier but not really registered. "I don't know. As of forty-eight hours ago, there should be no Shinigami deployed in Karakura. What Division are you in?" she asked Senna.

"I forgot."

"Ridiculous. How could you forget what Division you are affiliated with?" Soifon asked incredulously.

"I dunno. Doesn't seem like that big an issue to me."

Soifon suppressed the urge to palm her face. She looked at Ichigo. "Has she been like this the whole time?"

"Yep."

"My condolences."

"Standing right here!"

Soifon sighed. "I'll make an inquiry when I call in. Seeing as I'm not actually on duty right now, do you mind continuing to keep an eye on her?"

Ichigo shrugged. "Not really."

"Then I'll make that call and get back to you as soon as possible."

Soifon and Yoruichi dropped out of the sky and reentered Urahara's shop.

-x-

Akon breathed a short sigh of relief when the four Arrancar left without a massive battle taking place. That would have meant a lot of tedious paperwork and memory modifications. Of course, there were still four powerful Arrancar other than Ichigo Kurosaki in Karakura, but the Jureichi had been declared a "no go zone", except under extreme circumstances. Four possible hostiles not causing mayhem did not qualify as a good reason to risk pissing off the Arrancar they knew without a doubt was capable of putting Captains in traction.

"Tell the Kido Corps to stay on stand-by. It doesn't look like we have to worry, but better safe than sorry."

"Yes, sir."

The door slid open behind him, admitting Nemu Kurotsuchi.

"Welcome back, Vice-Captain. A fruitful search?"

"Yes. We managed to procure the remains of several Arrancar and Hollows. I've already deposited them in the labs."

"I'll get right on that as soon I finish up here, ma'am."

"Very well." The Vice-Captain leaned in to look at the screen. "There was an altercation in Karakura?"

"A narrowly avoided one."

"I see." She pointed at the signature currently marked as 'Identity Unknown'. "Have you run this one through the database yet?"

Akon shook his head. "No need. It's a Shinigami, who according to current orders shouldn't be there. Whoever it is will probably be shipped back in an hour or two by Captain Soifon."

Nemu continued staring intently at the reading. "I have seen this reading in our archives before." She reached out and brought up a new window on the screen.

Akon blinked when he saw that what was displayed on the new window and the unknown reading were identical. "Ma'am?"

"This is the Shinenju."

Akon blinked again when it registered that the solution to the Valley of Screams had been standing within thirty feet of Captain Soifon. Then it registered that it was also standing within ten feet of Ichigo Kurosaki.

"Inform Captain Soifon of this," Nemu ordered. "Ask her to be tactful, please." With that she walked out.

Akon gulped. Whatever form the Shinenju was in, it seemed to be connected to Ichigo Kurosaki.

The last time Soul Society had taken someone from Kurosaki, there had been massive property damage and Captain Kurotsuchi had been eaten. The Vice-Captain was still having nightmares about that moment.

Being tactful would definitely be a very good idea.

-x-

Tatsuki stood there on the porch of the Urahara Shoten, staring up at Ichigo as he traded barbs with Senna.

"Tatsuki? Is something wrong?"

Tatsuki shook her head. "I'm fine, Orihime." She turned to look at her friend, who was pouting and staring at her with a look that said, "I know you're lying". Tatsuki groaned, unable to resist. "Okay. I'm not okay." She chewed on her lip. "It's just…you said it yourself, Hime. You've gotten used to being around Ichigo like this. But me? He scares the crap out of me." The martial artist shivered. "I think it's the eyes. They remind me of that Hollow that attacked us at the school." She sighed. "And the fact that I'm scared of him is driving me nuts. This is the same guy that I used to make cry at karate class. Even when he got a reputation for being a delinquent, I knew him too well to even consider being wary around him. That I feel this way about him now…" She trailed off.

Orihime leaned against one of the support beams. "You know, I was scared of Ichigo when I first saw him like this too. The first time I saw him after he changed… Well, he was eating a Hollow, Tatsuki. It was like…like…um…"

Tatsuki couldn't help but giggle when Orihime dropped down and assumed 'The Thinker' pose to try figure something to compare Ichigo eating a Hollow to.

"Aha!" Tatsuki jumped at the sudden declaration. "It was like in Neon Genesis Evangelion, when Unit-01 goes berserk and starts eating Zeruel! But a dozen times scarier because it was happening right in front of me for real!" Orihime jumped to her feet and thrust her fist in the air. "But once I got used to being around him, it was more like Evangelion 2.0, with death rays and force fields and AT Field rocket punches and – !"

And Tatsuki was pretty sure her friend had lost her train of thought by this point.

"The point I'm trying to make," Orihime continued, as if she had not just taken a trip to LaLa Land, "is that Ichigo is still pretty much the same as he's always been. He's just a little more," Orihime curled her fingers into claws and bared her teeth, "Grr. Arg."

Tatsuki smiled at her friend's antics. She reached over and pulled her into a one-armed hug. "Dunno what I'd do without you, Hime."

Both of them looked back up at the sky to when they heard Ichigo yelling at Senna. They saw what looked like the purple-haired Shinigami sticking her tongue out before vanishing, leaving Ichigo and Rukia bound together by a glowing yellow chain.

-x-

"This is ridiculous," Rukia grumbled from her position against Ichigo's back. "She can't remember what Division she's a part of, or her seat, but she has her Shikai and can cast Bakudo #63 with enough skill to catch you in it. I'd think I would have heard of someone so skilled."

"Yeah, real impressive," Ichigo growled. He struggled with the chain for a moment before shattering it with a burst of reiatsu. "I'm going to punt that girl back through the Senkaimon."

"_I'm gonna take some time to enjoy myself alone. Later!"_

Spirit ribbons manifested around Ichigo. "There were people trying to kidnap her last night and she goes off alone. Does she have any self-preservation instincts at all?" Ichigo muttered as he sorted through the ribbons. After a few seconds he snagged a red one leading toward the mall. "I'm getting tired of hunting this girl down…"

Rukia smirked. "Would you like me to ask Yoruichi if she has a bell we can put on her?"

"Would you? That'd be very helpful," Ichigo said sarcastically. Static crackled and he was gone.

Rukia debated following him but decided against it. It wouldn't take the both of them to drag Senna back. Besides, Urahara seemed to have gotten some new Chappy manga while she had been gone.

-x-

Ichigo found Senna talking to the spirit of a little boy.

"You know, I wouldn't have said no if you wanted to go to the mall again."

Senna turned to look at him. "Didn't I say I wanted to be alone for a while?" She immediately started ignoring him again, returning her attention to the ghost in front of her. "Don't worry, I'll help you find your dad."

The kid nodded happily, but stopped abruptly when he spotted Ichigo. His screamed in terror and hid behind Senna.

Ichigo blinked at the reaction. "H-hey. There's nothing to be scared of."

"Don't let him get me, miss! I don't want to be eaten! I taste terrible!"

Ichigo felt as if the kid had just slapped him. "Wait a sec, I'm not gonna eat you…" The kid started crying, making Ichigo feel even worse.

Senna took pity on the Arrancar at that moment. "Don't worry, Tomoya. You don't have to be scared of this guy, even if he is a bit of a jerk." She pulled Ichigo down to her level and pulled his lips out into a parody of smile. "See? He's just a big teddy bear."

Ichigo shook her off and stood up, scowl firmly in place.

"Aw look, now he's sulking," Senna giggled. Tomoya wiped his tears and started to giggle as well.

And now his carefully crafted image was going to be taking a beating on the spirtual side of things as well… Ichigo sighed as he followed Senna and Tomoya. It was a small price to pay to not have the kid be absolutely terrified of him. Which really worried him. Tomoya was the first Plus he'd interacted with since his transformation. Would every Plus react to his presence like that?

-x-

"What do you mean the Shinenju was right in front of me?"

"_Exactly that, Captain Soifon. I would assume that it was this mysterious 'Senna' that you were just asking about."_

"Of course it was. Very well. I'll retrieve it. Thank you for the assistance."

"_Our pleasure, ma'am. Also, Vice-Captain Kurotsuchi has asked that the retrieval be carried out with care, however we have gotten authorization for Gentei Kaijo."_

"Hope that it doesn't come to that." She hung up the phone with a sigh.

"I'm guessing they told you something that is going to piss Ichigo off," Yoruichi observed.

Soifon nodded. "According to the data, Senna is actually the Shinenju."

"Whom Seireitei plans to sacrifice to get rid of the Valley of Screams." Yoruichi nodded. "Yeah, Ichigo's going to flip."

Soifon chewed on her thumbnail. "I can't think of any way to convince him to allow me to take the Shinenju without ending up fighting him."

Yoruichi tapped her chin. "Well, I can assure you that calling her 'the Shinenju' will definitely result in that outcome. Ichigo doesn't like it when sentient beings are referred to as objects. If you want an example, ask Urahara to tell you about the incident with Kon."

Soifon crossed her arms. "As far as I'm aware, while the current situation is unprecedented, the 12th Division doesn't seem to think there is any imminent danger. Perhaps with enough time the RDI could find a way to separate Senna from the Shinenju. We could certainly use any Shinigami we can get right now."

Yoruichi slapped her on the back. "That's using your head! It's better than going and picking a fight at any rate."

-x-

"Senna?"

"Um…yes?"

"Next time you decide to ditch me, I'm going to drag you back to the Vizards' warehouse and duct tape you to the heaviest rock I can find."

Senna stared at the army of Blanks surrounding them. "Sounds fair…"

On the bright side, Tomoya had been reunited with his father and the two had left together. Ichigo had seen that neither seemed to be suffering encroachment just yet, so there was no need to perform Konso and risk separating them.

On the down side, the area they were in was a fairly secluded temple with nothing around except for a festival.

Naturally, everyone at said festival turned out to be a Blank in disguise.

In addition, there was…

"This is for my arm, you pasty-faced freak!"

The nutjobs that had tried to kidnap Senna last night.

Ichigo blocked the crescent-shaped blade on his forearm then slugged Jai in the face, sending him flying into the crowd of Blanks, which tumbled like bowling pins.

Ichigo looked down at his arm and the shallow cut that had formed. "You've got to be kidding me…"

Jai laughed as he stood up. "We've learned to use the Blanks to increase our powers." To demonstrate, several Blanks around him dissolved and flowed around the arm Ichigo had broken last night. In an instant, the arm was fully healed. "We weren't expecting someone as strong as you in the cemetery, so we didn't bring that many Blanks, but now…" He lunged at Ichigo again. The Arrancar caught his wrists, but the force caused his knees to buckle. "We're ready for you this time, brat!" Jai put his foot against Ichigo's chest and shoved him back, away from Senna.

Ichigo dug in his heels and skidded to a halt, but was dog-piled by the horde of Blanks. Before he could fight his way free, a pair of massive clubs smashed down and the pile erupted in a massive explosion.

"Ichigo!" Senna cried, leaping at the two Shinigami. An arrow shot past her face, forcing her to pull up short.

"I'd worry about yourself, little girl," the purple-haired woman mocked, swapping her crossbow for the chain-scythes she had wielded before.

"Buzz off, hag!" Senna countered, pointing at her. "Hado #33: Sokatsui!"

The woman dodged the blast of blue flame. Her hair didn't fare so well. She fell to the ground, trying to put the flames out.

Senna snorted and turned back to help Ichigo.

And walked right into a green breastplate. A man with white hair smiled coldly at her before a fist buried itself in her solar plexus.

Senna collapsed, gasping for air.

The man picked her up with ease. "We have what we came for. We're leaving."

"The hell you are!" A bloodied Ichigo emerged from the crater the explosion had created and palmed Jai's face. "Cero!" Jai's headless body fell and Ichigo rounded on the masked club wielder, his Zanpakuto slicing the man in two from shoulder to hip. His opponents dead, he turned to Senna's captor. "Let her go."

The man scowled at him. "Riyan. If you wouldn't mind?"

Ichigo threw himself to the side, narrowly avoiding the rockets that peppered the ground he had just vacated. More rockets fired, keeping the Arrancar on the run. Ichigo grit his teeth, trying to find whoever was shooting at him while avoiding being blown to bits.

The white-haired man watched the bombardment for a moment before turning and walking away.

"Hado #1: Sho!"

The man's eyes bugged out and he collapsed to his knees, dropping Senna to clutch his family jewels.

Senna scrambled to her feet and stuck her tongue out at her disabled captor. "Next time you try to kidnap someone, make sure they're knocked out, moron!"

* * *

**Remember, Ichigo and company only know about the "ascend to Heaven and become a god" part of Aizen's plan. Nobody knows about the King's Key yet. I think. Pretty sure I didn't have them find out about that yet. It's hard to keep straight what I have and have not done… Anyway, that's my reason for Ichigo extending the "live and let live" offer to Aizen and the Espada. He doesn't know Aizen plans to sacrifice his town and he has no desire for the residents of Karakura to get caught in a war between Soul Society and Hueco Mundo.**

**We'll be seeing a lot more of Harribel and co. in the future. And for those who have only seen the Bleach anime, you need to check out Harribel's appearance in the manga. The anime was censored. That black line on her jacket? That's where her jacket **_**ended**_** in the manga. **

**I'm sorry. Once I mentioned NGE, I HAD to throw in a reference to the truly epic scene in Rebuild where Shinji channels the spirit of Simon the Digger and completely pwns Zeruel. Even if you haven't seen the movies, you should see that scene. Go to Youtube and search for 'Unit 01 vs Zeruel Rebuild'. **

**There's also another reference in Orihime's little speech. Can you spot it?**

**I think more than one Shinigami probably ended up as part of the Shinenju, so I gave Senna some Kido skills. **

**That's all for now, folks. How's about ****in commemoration of the One Year Anniversary** everyone goes back and leaves reviews on all the chapters they didn't review before? 


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Take a look at my pen name. Notice that it does not say "Tite Kubo". Since it does not, it can be assumed that I don't own Bleach.**

**Reviews**

**#300: Good Omens**

**#310: The Sinful**

**#320: nxkris**

**#330: Love Psycho**

**#340: Fangking2**

**#350: iamnuff**

**#360: slicerness**

**Sorry for the wait. Several factors contributed to the delay, but none of you care about those, right? What matters is that I'm back with a new chapter and some news. **

**NQaP: The Movie is in the works. Not sure when the first chapter will be posted, but it'll probably be this month. I'm going to have so much fun. :D**

**I know a lot of you want a new chapter of "Bring It On". I'm going to wait a bit to find out a little more about Masaki's past before I start writing again. I want to know about the relationship between her, Juha Bach, and (if there is one) the Ishida family. That way when I really start screwing with things I can have even more fun with the consequences. Therefore, the blame for any more waiting can be laid at the feet of Tite Kubo because he's stingy with the details.**

**I'm also working on a new fic, in a fanon outside Bleach. That's right. Many have asked for it and it's finally on its way. **_**Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Prince of the Harvest**_** is coming soon to a computer screen near you!**

**Plus there's my original story (which still doesn't have a title), which some of my friends have told me seems like "Hellboy meets The Big Bang Theory". That's going to start appearing on FictionPress at some point in the near future.**

* * *

All combat stopped as Senna's would-be kidnapper dropped to the ground and curled up in the fetal position, clutching his groin.

All the males in the immediate vicinity instinctively covered their family jewels in sympathy.

"You little bitch! How dare you do such a thing to Lord Ganryu!" The purple haired woman had managed to put out the flames in her hair and leapt at Senna.

Senna smirked and parried the sickles with her Zanpakuto. "Whoops. Sorry. Was he your boyfriend?" Her opponent snarled and attacked again. Senna easily danced around the wild strikes. "I don't see why you're so mad…" She jumped up and over the woman's head to avoid being snared in her chains. "It's not like he was the only guy in your group. I'm sure one of the others would be willing to scratch your itch."

"I will tear you limb from limb, bitch!"

By this point, the woman seemed to have forgotten that their goal had been to capture Senna alive and was trying her absolute best to turn the shorter Shinigami into minced meat. Too bad she was too angry to do anything other than attack in a blind rage, completely nullifying whatever advantages she was getting from the Blanks.

"Damn it, Benin! Get a hold off yourself!" the blue-haired Riyan yelled from atop the temple.

"There you are, you son of a bitch!" Ichigo shouted, punching a glowing red orb at the temple roof. The Arrancar blinked as tile and wood exploded. He looked down at his fist, which crackled with red energy. "That was new…" He returned his attention to the temple when a slightly toasted Riyan shot out of the rubble.

"Will you just die already?" Riyan yelled, taking aim with the rocket packs on his back.

"You first," Ichigo shot back. The crackling energy around his fists surged. In a move that would have made many Dragon Ball characters proud, Ichigo fired a barrage of crimson bullets at the oncoming rocket salvo.

The obscuring cloud of smoke and rocket debris that resulted from the explosive collision was very Dragon Ball-ish as well.

And, as a veteran Dragon Ball fan, Ichigo knew that standing there and watching the cloud was the absolute worst thing he could do.

Riyan, on the other hand, obviously didn't watch Dragon Ball. In fact, he probably didn't watch any anime at all. Which explained why he was still trying to peer through the dust like a dumbass when Ichigo appeared behind him.

"Three down," Ichigo muttered as he rested his bloody Zanpakuto against his shoulder, counting on his fingers. "There was the guy with the clubs, the guy whose arm I broke, rocketman…"

-x-

"Hold still and die!"

"That doesn't give me much incentive to hold still does it?" came the mocking retort. "Bring them to the twilight, Mirokumaru!" The rising wind drowned out Benin's screams.

-x-

"…Senna's dealing with that one…" Ichigo scowled. "Pretty sure there was a guy with a sword last night…" Something sharp sliced into his back. Ichigo sighed, heedless of the blood pouring from the wound. "Really got to work on sensing people without Spirit Ribbons…" The Arrancar spun around, deflecting his attacker's second strike with his own blade. The two swordsmen started trading blows.

"So, just curious." Ichigo parried a strike at his neck and retaliated with a feint at his opponent's shoulder that slipped low to graze his thigh. "Why the interest in Senna?"

"You – ugh! – really have – gah! – no idea what she is, do you?"

Ichigo blocked the sword and kicked him in the ribs.

"Aside from a Shinigami and colossal pain in my ass?" He ducked a swing and popped his opponent in the jaw with an uppercut.

The swordsman jumped back and hurled a handful of throwing knives at Ichigo's face.

"Knives? Seriously?" Ichigo batted two knives away and snagged the last out of the air. "Aren't you guys Shinigami? Don't you have Zanpakuto?" He flicked the knife back at its thrower… and watched as it missed by a mile, spinning off into the distance. "How do you make that look so easy?"

The swordsman's eye twitched. "Would you like me to answer your first question? Or do you have more for me?"

Ichigo tapped his chin in thought. "Actually, I think I won't worry about any of them." Ichigo sonidoed and buried his Zanpakuto in his opponent's chest before the man could even think of mounting a defense. "Pain in the ass she may be, Senna's still a friend. I couldn't care less about your reasons."

Ichigo kicked the corpse off his blade and turned his attention back to the catfight below, just in time to see Senna gagging Benin with her own hat. The woman flopped angrily on the ground, tightly hogtied in the chains from her weapons, hurling muffled profanities at Senna.

Senna triumphantly placed her foot on her wriggling captive and flashed Ichigo the 'V' sign.

"I killed four of them," Ichigo said with a smirk.

Senna huffed and crossed her arms. "Sure, just go ahead and kill my sense of accomplishment."

Ichigo strode over to the prone form of Senna's would be kidnapper. "I actually feel kind of bad for this guy. Did you have to use a Hado?"

"Well, what if he had some kinda defensive power like you've got? I didn't want to hurt my hand."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Sure." Then his scowl returned. "Now what do we do with them?"

"Dump them in Hueco Mundo and ring a dinner bell?"

"Seems kind of over the top."

"They tried to kidnap me. Who knows what sick, perverted things they were going to do to me?"

"Is that just your default assump – SLICE! – tion?" Why couldn't he feel his feet?

Ganryu surged to his feet as Ichigo fell, legs cut off below the knees. The white-haired man slashed at Senna, who blocked with her staff, but the force still threw her back into the trashed temple. Throwing a dirty look at the downed Arrancar, he grabbed his last living subordinate and vanished with the rest of the Blanks.

"Ow…" Senna dragged herself out of the rubble and shook herself off. "Someone get the number of that – Oh crap! Ichigo!"

"It's just a scratch," Ichigo groaned from his place on the ground.

"A scratch? Your legs are off!" Senna said incredulously.

"No they're not."

"Well what are those then?" Senna pointed at the lower halves of Ichigo's legs, lying a few feet away.

Ichigo blinked at the severed appendages and shrugged. "I've had worse…"

"You liar!"

"No, I've seriously had worse…" Ichigo hauled himself over to his separated limbs and pressed them back into place. Senna gaped as the wounds slowly sealed before her eyes. In a couple minutes she couldn't see any hint of an injury. "There. Slower, but less of a drain than growing them back…" Ichigo grunted as he climbed to his feet. "And the cavalry arrives…"

Yoruichi and Soifon flickered into view.

Soifon palmed her face when she saw the destruction. "See? I told you we shouldn't have stopped at that catnip sale."

"They handled it, didn't they?" Yoruichi said petulantly, hugging her shopping bag to her chest.

-x-

"Lord Ganryu…"

"Silence, Benin."

Ganryu slammed his fist against the alley wall. What was up with this town? Snatching the Shinenju should have been simple. Except that there were more than half a dozen reiatsu signatures that matched or exceeded his subordinates running around. He had sent them in when the Shinenju seemed to be the least protected, but of course, the one that was always around was that damn hybrid!

Ganryu growled. Two failures in as many days. They wouldn't get another chance anytime soon. Hell, today was a stroke of luck that the Shinenju and her lone protector had wandered so far from the rest. The hybrid and his lot would most certainly be keeping an eye out for them now.

"We will have to delay our efforts, Benin."

"But, Lord Ganryu, surely with enough Blanks we could - !"

"Not with the Shinenju surrounded by so many. Not outside the Valley. No. The destruction of Soul Society will have to wait until we can find another opening to exploit."

"Well now…" a voice said from the shadowy end of the alley. "I was out looking for a snack. I wasn't expecting to find a kindred spirit…"

Ganryu and Benin watched suspiciously as a man with red eyes and short white hair stepped into the light.

* * *

**Yes, it's super short, but I've kept you all waiting long enough. I'm sorry! Next chapter will be out around January 15. And if it's not, you have my full permission to send Howlers until I get off my ass and get back to work!**

**Quick question. If you could assign Ichigo an Aspect of Death (like the Espada have) what would it be? This may or may not have relevance to the story. I haven't decided.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: This space intentionally left blank.**

***spacepod falls out of the sky, crash landing with an earth-shaking 'KABOOM!'***

**Cerokun: "I'm back, bitches!"**

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**Due to being #300 and 400 respectively, Good Omens and Ethorin, you each have the right to one question about anything you want about the story. Chose wisely!**

**So much later than I planned on…**

**Man, what happened to the days when I updated almost every other day? I blame the fact that I have several muses, each with different ideas on what I should be working on. They keep getting into massive catfights, resulting in multiple mutual KOs and nothing getting done in the end. I finally got fed up with it, locked all of them except for SNGaP in a box, and pitched the box into the Atlantic. It should take a while for them to get back and start causing problems again.**

* * *

"Hmph. And here I thought the Living World wouldn't be as exciting as Hueco Mundo." Apache smirked as she felt reiatsu clash in the distance. "Think stuff like this happens a lot?"

"I certainly hope not. Lady Harribel ordered us to spend our time relaxing while she reports to Lord Aizen, not getting into trouble," Sun-Sun reminded her. She then turned to her other companion. "Mila Rose…"

The Amazonian Arrancar turned to look at her, drool running down her chin. "Huh?"

"No eating the Pluses."

Mila Rose grumbled as she turned back to stare longingly at the ghost of a salaryman walking on the street below them. "Haven't had a human soul in years and the first chance we get, some berry-head thinks he can order us around…"

Apache snorted. "You want to have a snack, Mila? Go ahead. I'll be watching from across town when that 'berry-head' shows up to rip you to pieces."

"Go screw yourself, Apache," Mila Rose growled. "Hmm?" The ghost had turned down into an alley and a brown-haired human woman broke away from the crowd of pedestrians to follow him. "And there are so many sensitive humans too… This sucks…"

"Mila, just shut up. You're making me hungry now." Apache turned toward her fellow Fraccion just in time to see the human woman bite down on the Plus and suck it up like a bowl of ramen. "What the hell?"

The woman finished her meal then spared a glance at the trio of hovering Arrancar. When they made no move to interact with her, she turned and walked away.

"How odd," Sun-Sun noted.

"Yep."

"Very strange."

…

"I'm still hungry…"

-x-

Soifon considered how to explain the situation to Kurosaki. Her normal method to convey information was to simply and bluntly lay out the facts. But while that might work for her subordinates, Kurosaki was neither loyal to her nor astronomically weaker than her.

If this went badly, there would be a fight. One she wasn't certain she could win without wiping Karakura off the map.

In the end, she decided to use her Captain's Prerogative: delegation.

"You explain," she said to her former mentor.

Yoruichi pouted a bit before putting down her shopping bag. "Okay, kids, we've got good news and not-so-good-but-not-quite-bad news. Which would you like first?"

The Arrancar scowled. "Good news."

"We figured who the Shinenju is and where they are," Yoruichi said with a smile.

"And the not-so-good-but-not-quite-bad-news?" Senna asked.

"It's you," Yoruichi answered, still smiling.

Soifon face-palmed as she remembered the personality of the person she had just delegated.

Both Kurosaki and Senna blinked at the blunt proclamation.

"Well…that explains a lot…" Kurosaki finally said.

Now it was Soifon's turn to blink. That was not the reaction she was expecting.

"What the hell do mean 'it's me'? Is this some kind of joke? How the hell could I be the Shinenju?" Senna said incredulously.

There it was.

"Well, let's see…" Yoruichi mused, tapping her chin. "Do you remember what division you're in?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Do you?"

"No, but –"

"Do you remember how you got to the Living World?"

"No, I woke up next to the river a few days ago…"

"Are you experiencing bizarre, disjointed, and contradictory flashbacks?"

"Um…yes?"

"Do you think Ichigo is sexy and want to have hot, passionate sex with him?"

"Y – N – Wha -?" Senna's brain–mouth connection short-circuited and her whole face lit up like a stoplight at the question. Next to her, Kurosaki's jaw had dropped open and he was staring blankly in Yoruichi's general direction.

Soifon turned to her teacher. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Yoruichi shrugged. "Nothing at all. I was just curious."

Soifon sighed. "All kidding aside…" she said, getting Kurosaki and Senna to focus on her, "I have orders to bring the Shi – Senna to the Seireitei." Ichigo glared at her and started to protest, but she cut him off. "The Valley of Screams is connecting Soul Society and the Living World. While it's not an immediate problem, if something were to destabilize the connection, things could go very badly for both worlds."

The Arrancar growled and Soifon tensed at the very Hollow-like sound issuing from his throat. "And what will happen to Senna?"

"If my confidence in the R&D Institute is not misplaced? Absolutely nothing," Soifon asserted. "In our current state – which is partially your doing, I might add – we can't afford to lose any Shinigami. Even one of Senna's unorthodox origins."

"Gee, thanks," Senna pouted.

Soifon shrugged. "Once the issue with the Valley of Screams is resolved, I'll recommend you be inducted officially into the Gotei 13. With your abilities, there's no chance you won't be accepted, probably as a Seated officer. And maybe as a Vice-Captain once you have some actual experience."

"Wow, really?" Senna asked.

Soifon nodded.

"And if the R&D can't do anything?" Kurosaki cut in.

Soifon struggled to find a gentle way of saying "The current form of the Shinenju will cease to exist" and came up blank. Sugarcoating things really wasn't her strong suit. Fortunately, she was spared from having to explain.

"Alright, I'll go," Senna said.

Soifon blinked. "Really?" That was easy…

"Yep! A chance to be a Vice-Captain? No way am I passing that up!"

Kurosaki looked at the excitable Shinigami. "You sure about this, Senna? I mean, it is your choice. If you want to stay in Karakura, there's not a whole lot Soul Society can do about it."

_There's quite a bit Soul Society can do about it. Most of those options will just result in large-scale collateral damage that we'd really rather avoid._ Soifon refrained from voicing those thoughts. Still, it was unsettling that Kurosaki thought he could just give Soul Society the finger and do whatever the hell he wanted. She would have to find a way to disabuse him of that notion.

Senna nodded. "I'm sure." She smiled. "I had a lot of fun, Ichigo. I'll make sure to come back and visit sometime."

"You better. You still owe me for the food and that ribbon."

Senna pouted and stamped her foot. "Stingy!"

Soifon sighed. "Crisis averted, I guess."

Yoruichi draped herself over Soifon's shoulders. "Ready for some R&R now?"

"Yes, but it will have to wait a bit. I'll escort Senna to the Seireitei and get things rolling with the 12th Division. I also need to get Amagai's answer and send the Captain-General my recommendation if he accepts. I should return in a day or two."

"Amagai?"

"Shusuke Amagai. He's a Patrol Leader. I asked him to fill one of the vacant Captain positions."

"Promoted from the Patrol Corps? I don't think that's ever happened before. He must be strong."

"Very. The strongest in the 2nd Division after myself. He's also a hard worker, reliable, and very good at inspiring loyalty in his subordinates. I think he will make a fine Captain."

-x-

"Good afternoon, Kibune. Almost done filling out your report?" Shusuke asked a young man with reddish brown hair and glasses.

"Ah! Yes, sir, Patrol Leader Amagai! I'll be done in just a few moments," Makoto Kibune responded. He finished a few more lines and handed the paper to Shusuke.

"Good job," Shusuke said with a smile. "Captain Soifon is in the Living World at the moment, but she'll probably be back within a few hours. I'll pass it to her then."

"Hm? How do you know she'll be back so soon, sir?"

"The Captain asked me a very important question last night. I imagine she's rather anxious for my answer."

Shusuke smirked as understanding dawned on Kibune's face.

"Is it about the empty Captain positions, sir?" Kibune asked quietly.

Shusuke nodded. "Once you've finished your work for the day, contact Kumoi. It'll be time to move soon."

"Yes, sir," Kibune said as the two parted ways.

-x-

"That is interesting," Aizen said. "I had expected some tension between Ichigo Kurosaki and Soul Society. To think he would throw them out of the Jureichi completely is a surprise. Even more that they actually complied."

Harribel knelt silently as her lord considered the information she had given him.

Aizen smiled. "I suppose that does work to our advantage. It will take time for the Gotei 13 to take action when the time comes. I suppose we should thank Mr. Kurosaki for his assistance."

"What of his refusal to join the Espada?" Harribel asked.

Aizen waved his hand dismissively. "Irrelevant for the time being. I expected him to deny the offer at this point." His smile widened a bit. "We will welcome him into the fold in due time."

"Yes, sir."

"You may leave now, Harribel. I have no need for your services in the near future, so feel free to enjoy your time in the Living World."

"My thanks, Lord Aizen." She bowed and left the room.

As the door closed behind her, Aizen's smile faded and his form flickered. A moment later, the illusion fell, revealing a slightly more ragged looking Aizen clutching at his chest.

The Hogyoku pulsed, dim light peeking out from the spaces between his fingers.

"Greedy, aren't you? I'm afraid you can't have that one. She's far too useful a tool to feed to you."

More flickering light, seeming almost insistent this time, and Aizen grimaced as he felt a pain in his chest.

"Demand all you want. I've made my position clear."

A quick application of Kido sealed the room. It would be poor form to allow his pawns to see him in such a state. Aizen leaned back in his throne and closed his eyes, focusing on the orb embedded in his chest.

The Hogyoku would acknowledge him as its master. He would accept nothing less.

-x-

Harribel made her way through Las Noches, heading for the nearest exit point. It was annoying that she could no longer open a Garganta in the palace, but precautions must be taken when one of your potential enemies is capable of the same.

She ignored the blue-haired Quinto and his three remaining Fraccion standing in her path until a hand landed on her shoulder.

"I would suggest removing your hand, Grimmjow, unless you would like me to do it for you."

Her fellow Espada released her and held up his hands in mock surrender. "No need to get testy, Harribel. I just wanted to ask how your mission to Living World went."

Harribel turned to face him fully. Grimmjow's lips peeled back, baring his teeth in a feral grin.

"Are you asking about the mission? Or Ichigo Kurosaki?"

All of Las Noches was interested in Ichigo Kurosaki. The first Arrancar to break into Soul Society (and make it out alive and with all his limbs still attached). The one that denied Lord Aizen the Hogyoku. The one who fulfilled nearly every Hollow's wildest dream by eating a Captain. There were rumors flying around that he had taken on all the Captains and the Espada (at the same time in some accounts); that he was actually a former, secret Espada who had been banished by Lord Aizen for indiscriminately slaughtering everyone who passed before his sight; and one nut had actually started telling anyone who would listen that he had seen Kurosaki roundhouse kick the Spirit King in the face.

It was rather baffling to Harribel how such deadly creatures as Arrancar could be such colossal gossips.

Grimmjow didn't care about rumors. He only cared about two facts: Kurosaki was strong and he wasn't (currently) an Espada, which made him fair game for whoever had the power and guts to kill him.

If Aizen had not expressly forbid it, Grimmjow would have gone after him the second he finished viewing Ulquiorra's recounting of Kurosaki's battle with Kenpachi Zaraki.

Needless to say, the Aspect of Destruction was chomping at the bit to take his shot at the rogue Arrancar.

"You know that Aizen will not allow you to leave to challenge him."

Grimmjow folded his arms. "I don't see the problem. I just want to test to see if he's good enough for the Espada." The leer on his face would have made a saber-tooth tiger envious.

"Your idea of 'testing him' would leave the Jureichi a smoking crater. Which would make it rather difficult for Lord Aizen to make the King's Key, would it not?"

"Feh."

"If there is nothing else?" When she received no answer, Harribel continued on her way.

-x-

Uryuu sighed and put down his pencil.

"Finally finished," he said to himself, arranging his summer assignments in a neat pile.

He had neglected his schoolwork in the run-up to and aftermath of the invasion of Soul Society. It wouldn't do to compromise his #1 ranking, so he had locked himself in the reiatsu-sealed training room in the basement to prevent any distractions while he got it all done.

So it was a bit of a surprise when he left the room and detected two Shinigami and three Arrancar that had not been there two days ago.

Wait. The Shinigami were leaving. But that still left the trio of Arrancar.

No wait, four Arrancar. Another had just entered the Living World.

…

"This is Kurosaki's fault. I just know it."

-x-

Ichigo let loose an explosive sneeze as the doors to the Senkaimon closed, leaving him and Yoruichi standing alone in the temple courtyard.

"Stupid smoke," he grumbled.

Yoruichi sighed. "And now I have to find something to do to pass the time until Soifon gets back." She yawned. "Later, Ichigo. I'm gonna go take a catnap." With a lazy wave, she stepped away and was gone in a flash.

Now alone, Ichigo pondered on what to do with the rest of his day. "Oh, right," he said, snapping his fingers, "I need to let the Vizard know about those Arrancar before they run into each other."

Of course, before he could put that plan into action, his phone started ringing.

"Hello?"

"_Good afternoon, Kurosaki. Would you like to explain why there is now a total of five Arrancar in Karakura, counting yourself?" _

Ichigo scratched at the back of his head. "Not if you're going to be a dick about it, Ishida."

"_Need I remind you that they work for Aizen? What makes you think it's a good idea to allow them to be here?"_

"The fact that as a deterrent we've got you, me, Inoue, Chad, Yoruichi, Urahara, and all of the Vizard? They cause trouble, we put them down hard. Simple as that." Ichigo shrugged. "Have you seen Hueco Mundo, Ishida? It's an endless desert. If I were them? I'd be willing to be on my best behavior if it meant a change in scenery after a few hundred years."

"… _I suppose you have a point,"_ Ishida conceded. _"Still it would be best if we kept a close eye on them."_

"I'm going to rope the Vizard into it. They might as well do something useful instead of sitting on their asses in that warehouse all day. Sound good? Okay, bye now." Ichigo ended the call there. If they kept going, Ishida would probably find something else to bitch at him for.

The Arrancar Sonidoed toward the Vizard's warehouse. He'd get that taken care of and then he could kick back and enjoy the rest of his summer break in peace.

-x-

"So this is the Quincy's home?"

"Pretty impressive. Though I guess it makes sense that a guy that runs a hospital would be loaded."

"Well then, Ho, shall we?"

"We shall, Ban."

The duo pulled out a pair of plastic water bottles, uncapped them, and poured the contents onto the ground.

* * *

**Finally done! Thank you to everyone who sent encouragement and Howlers telling me to get back to work.**

**Who else is chomping at the bit for new chapters of Bleach? I know I am, because the current arc is exactly what I need to know so I can get to work resolving the Kurosaki family issues (and get back to work on 'Bring It On'). The suspense is killing me!**

**Speaking of the latest chapters, I knew Unohana was Badass, but damn! How often is it that fanon builds up a character as insanely awesome, only for said character to blow all expectations out of the water and into the stratosphere? Shawlong thinking he could take Unohana back in NQaP was funny when I wrote it. Now it's hilarious.**

**And of course, Kenpachi can finally hear his Zanpakuto. Several years after I had given up on it ever happening in canon. What does this mean for the Zanpakuto I had planned? Couldn't tell you. It'll depend on what his Zanpakuto can do in canon. If it's as Crazy Awesome as Kenpachi, great. If not, well, this is fanfiction; I'll pull the AU card.**

**Now go review! I bet SNGaP can surpass NQaP in review count after this chapter!**

**And if you feel like it, check out the 'Not Quite as Planned' TvTropes page. It needs more love.**


	11. April Fools

**I'm afraid I've lost all inspiration for NQaP. So I'm discontinuing it. Sorry.**

…

…

**Anybody take that seriously? **

**Of course not, because it's April Fools Day, and none of you are stupid. Like I'd leave this story unfinished.**

**In all seriousness, I am putting this on hiatus. Hopefully it will be a short one, but like 'Bring It On', it depends on Tite Kubo.**

"**Why?" you may ask.**

**Because if certain characters from the current flashback are still alive in the present, Ban and Ho are about to assault a mansion full of Ninja Maids (well, technically Quincy Maids, but the result is the same). **

**I know this is fanfiction and I can do whatever I want, but I'd really rather not write a knock-down-drag-out battle between Ishida and the Bount that blows the mansion to smithereens, and then have to explain that all of the mansion's staff was out shopping or something.**

**Seriously, Kubo, what happened to that whole 'Last Quincy' thing?**

**Hmm. Quincy, Bount, Mod Souls, Hollows. Soul Society really sucks at genocide, don't they?**

**Anyway, yeah, hiatus. At least I'm giving you guys a heads up instead of just leaving you hanging for months, right?**

**On the bright side, this means I'll have time to work on 'White and Black Duet'. :D**

**This isn't actually a chapter, so don't review. If you've got questions, PM me.**


	12. Chapter 11

**I'm sorry I haven't posted in so long. My computer's been having issues that only just got resolved a few days ago. **

**This chapter isn't anywhere near complete, but I felt that I needed to post something, since this is the SNGaP's One Year Anniversary. *confetti and noisemakers* Once I get the rest written (which shouldn't take that long) I'll add it to this chapter instead of posting a whole new one.**

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**Regarding questions I've gotten about Ichigo's Quincy powers and the recent revelations about Zangetsu, I'll just say that Zangetsu is Zangetsu. The exact circumstances will eventually be addressed. Or, if you really can't wait, just leave the 600****th**** review and get your free question.**

* * *

Uryuu prided himself on his ability to sense reiatsu. After all, it was one of the areas that he still far outstripped Kurosaki in. Compared to his senses, the Arrancar might as well be deaf and blind. The Quincy could sense a Hollow emerging halfway across Karakura and snipe it from the same distance.

Which is why he was immensely surprised when he didn't notice they were under attack until the front door and surrounding wall exploded into the foyer, followed by a torrent of water.

Uryuu and the two maids that were present leapt up to the second level to avoid the rushing floodwaters.

The Quincy's eyes narrowed as the waters receded, drawing together and forming two tall stalks topped by blobs that resembled eyes.

"Knock knock," a young, mocking voice called from outside.

"Can the Quincy come out to play?" another asked.

Uryuu pushed his glasses up his nose. "I'm afraid I'm unavailable right now. I have to call a contractor to take care of the giant hole that was recently knocked in my front wall."

"Heh. Sorry about that."

"We got a little overeager."

"We've never gotten the chance to meet a Quincy before."

"They're kinda rare, you know?"

Uryuu and the maids scowled at the jab.

"Would you like us to remove them from the premise, Master Uryuu?" the brown haired maid asked.

"They are being very rude ~ de arimasu," her violet haired companion added.

"'Remove us from the premise'?"

"How do you expect to pull that off?"

Streamers of water emerged from the eyestalks.

"Go ahead."

"Show us!"

The water struck, slicing through the floor and railing of the upper level like a hot knife through butter.

It also missed all three targets by a mile.

Uryuu pushed his glasses up his nose and glared down at the water creatures from his Hirenkyaku, the pair of maids flanking him. "I hope you plan to pay for that."

"Oh of course," the first voice mocked.

"Please, put it on our bill," the second continued.

Blue light flared and Uryuu's bow appeared from the Sanrei glove. "I believe you are right. These two have greatly overstayed their welcome. Sayoko? Wilhelmina? Would you mind showing them to the gate?"

"Of course, Master Uryuu (~ de arimasu)" they said together.

* * *

**Yes, the maids are characters from other anime. Do you recognize them? If you don't, I feel sorry for you. You've been missing out on some great anime.**

**For the Quincy that have had their power drained by Juha Bach, I'm treating them like Ishida was after he used the Quincy Letz Stil.**

**Now please! Review! Update the NQaP TvTropes page! Both motivate me to write faster (granted, the bar isn't set very high...)!**


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